#omelia fanfiction

[omeliaendgame]

Just call me

Hey Omelia-Fans :-) After last weeks episode I got an idea for a new story, so here it is. I hope you´ll like it!!!

Warning: It deals with Amelia´s addiction.

“Amelia?”, Owen asked surprised as he opened the door with only a tshirt and boxer shorts on. He just had changed his clothes to go to bed until it knocked on the door. “I´m so sorry!”, Amelia said almost crying. “For what?”, Owen asked and tilted his head, “Come inside.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t wanna bother you.”, Amelia said quietly. “You don’t. Come on…”, Owen replied worried by the look on her face. “What happened?”, he asked as soon as they had sat down. “I´m just…I…needed to see someone…well you.”, Amelia answered quietly. “Okay...Why?” Owen asked slowly. He knew her too well to not notice that something was going on. She didn’t answer and he decided to give her some time. She looked at Owen and he immediately saw guilt in her face. “I…am this close to taking drugs and I don’t know what to do about it.”, she said and smiled slightly to hide how hard it was for her to tell Owen about it. Owen froze for a second, just because he hadn´t expected that to be Amelia´s problem. “Yeah I know it is bad.”, Amelia said. “That’s not…Do you have drugs with you?”, he asked carefully. Amelia shook her head. “I…was just on my way. It´s crazy that I didn’t end up with that junky doctor.” She admitted, “I don´t know how I made it to your house.” Owen exhaled slowly, relieved that she apparently hadn´t taken any pills.   “I´m so so glad that you came here, Amelia.”, Owen said. She began sobbing and Owen wrapped his arms around her. He could imagine how hard it was to stay clean in this times and although the last time he saw her she seemed to be good, he knew that her history with addiction would always be there. “What do I do, Owen?”, Amelia asked when she had calmed down a little, “I can´t do this anymore. I have talked about it in meetings, I have talked to Link. Nothing helps.” “You came here instead of buying drugs. You resisted your desire for drugs. You are strong, Amelia.”, Owen said looking in her eyes. “I don’t know for how long I can keep going on like this. I fight my cravings since weeks and at first…I only thought about drugs at night,… then always when the kids weren´t there and now…I think about them all the time. Like now, I still think about them now…I can´t guarantee you I won´t just stand up, run away and get high.”, Amelia confessed. Owen didn’t know what to say. It was hard to hear her say that. “Okay, so let´s find out why.”, Owen said. “Why I want to get high? Isn´t that obvious…”, Amelia asked sceptically. “Well…let me rephrase that. Let´s talk about the things that are bothering you so much that you have to fight your addiction more than before. You might know the reasons for your cravings but let me guess, you never talked about it.” “How can I talk about it when every single minute there is a child around me.”, Amelia replied. “Soo...you ignore your feelings because you don´t want the kids to worry?”, Owen asked. “I don´t… Their mom is at the hospital since what…weeks? Months? Of course I don´t want them to worry.”, Amelia said frustrated. Owen smiled slightly. “What?”, Amelia asked. “That sounds like you.”, he answered, “You care so much about your friends and family. I always thought that. But don´t forget taking care of yourself.” Amelia looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I tried to. I told Link I was sad...I...He is like… happy all the time and it freaks me out! How does he do that? He plays his guitar and dances with the kids and sometimes I really enjoy it. Sometimes. And when I talked to him, he was caring and supportive, but...he didn´t get it.” “How about you tell me what you wanted to tell him.”, Owen proposed. “There is a global pandemic. People are sick, people are dying. Meredith is sick, and I thought she was dying too. And some people just make the whole thing worse by murdering other people. All I do right now is staying at home, receiving messages from Maggie about how Meredith isn´t improving, receiving messages from Tom about how many of our patients died that day, because either they got Covid or there wasn´t place for them in the ICU. And then I have to entertain the kids in order to not make them ask me when they can see their friends again and when their mother is finally coming home. Oh and every time I think I have just one minute of peace, Scout starts crying.”, Amelia opened up. Owen nodded slowly. “You don´t have time to process all the feelings, they build up and now you just want to numb yourself… I think I get it. Sometimes I feel like that too.” “But you don´t think about taking drugs.”, Amelia added. “No, I don´t.”, Owen said quietly. “So how do you process your feelings?”, Amelia asked. “Process is the wrong word. I don´t process them. But I accept them... It´s hard for all of us. We´re all sad and angry and the worst thing is that the quarantining makes us feel all alone. But we´re not... Let me tell you what happens if you take these drugs. You will get the high you think you need. You won´t feel all of the pain until the drug´s wearing off. You will remember all of the pain, you will feel guilty for taking the pills, for not being strong enough to resist and you will feel worse than before. You will take more drugs and more and more and more. But it will never make you feel better in the end. It will make you feel more alone. If you accept your feelings, in the end you will feel better. Because this pandemic will get better. There is and end. If you do drugs, there isn´t.” Amelia kept silent. He knew that she was thinking about the things he said and he hoped he got through to her. “It makes me crazy that we don´t know when all of this is gonna get better. We keep going on for days, weeks, months and everytime we think the worst part is over, boom, more deaths, more quarantining, more crime.”, Amelia said after a while. “I know. It´s scary.”, Owen replied, “Instead of doing weekly online meetings about how to improve digital technologies they should do weekly meetings about how to improve mental health.”  “Yeah that sounds reasonable.”, Amelia said. “Really, when I was in quarantine I found myself talking to my mirror image for like 15 minutes.”, Owen told her. Amelia chuckled. “Reminds me of Ellis, how she talks to a picture of a girl in the kitchen when nobody can play with her.” “Yeah but her doing that is sweet.”, Owen answered. Amelia laughed. “It is. She´s adorable. And Zola is just so smart and kind, and Bailey... is so funny. They have changed so much in the last few months. Even if I´m with them every day I notice that.” “And you would miss it if you...”, Owen started but knew he didn´t have to continue. Amelia nodded. “I think I came here because I knew inside that you were the only one who could stop me from buying these drugs.” Owen smiled. “What if I lose control?”, she asked. “Just call me. You can call anytime! I´m sure I have hundreds of reasons to convince you to stay clean. And I will tell you every single one of them if you need me to.”, Owen said. “Did I ever tell you how grateful I am to you.”, Amelia said, “Really… I don´t know how to thank you." “Just promise me that you´ll call.”, Owen said. She looked in his eyes and smiled slightly. “I promise!”

[nevergiveupneverrun]

Bodyguard - Bonus chapter Sixty-Nine "Disillusionment"

Hello, how are you? It’s been a long long time. I'm truly sorry, it's been a crazy year. Here is chapter Sixty-Nine of my Story Bodyguard, yay! It’s the last bonus chapter and the last chapter of Bodyguard! I hope you will like this chapter.

I’m sorry in advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link to the previous chapter: Click Here.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛

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3 months later

How could you do that?

Why did you run away like this?

It’s the worst decision of your whole life… you lost so much with this choice… I’m not sure she forgives you…

Sitting in one of the spooky rooms of the Special Services Branch, Rosie’s words and questions see popping up like a nagging litany in my mind. Back in the United States, not without difficulty with my cover identity, Rosie was the first person I visited. The reunion was intense in emotion and tears… it was only after two hours that she managed to calm down realizing that I was alive and understanding what I was awkwardly trying to explain to her about the real situation.

My death: smokescreen.

My role of spy.

My identity was abandoned in favor of my homeland so that I endorse the characters necessary for my missions.

I spent a total of 4 days with Rosie, in this little locality of Canada that I love so much and which soothes me more. After a certain distance and reserve, she had ended after two days by returning to her usual behavior with me and fully integrating my presence at her side. And it is on these last two days that her questions and her words have completely come to light: no matter how hard I tried to justify my choice, she didn’t understand it. I tried for my part to collect some elements on Amelia… as if to prepare myself for this.

Rosie had thus revealed to me that Amelia visited my parent’s house at least once a year, probably using the key I had given her. She usually stayed there for a week, preferably in the spring, and enjoyed the moments she shared with Rosie, away from the hustle and bustle of the city and her occupation, because obviously, her status was unchanged: an essential artist of the American scene.

I realized, however, that Rosie was sticking to basic information and not telling me anything about what had become Amelia’s life: all the more specific and personal questions that I was trying to ask her, Rosie refused to answer, giving me for all feedback: "You must ask these questions to Amelia. It is up to her to answer you." The mystery was still there for me, as I was back in Seattle:

Is Amelia okay?

How had she lived these almost two years which have passed?

Has she found that hint of happiness that I wished for her when I decided to leave?

--

The cracking of the door takes me out of my memories… and the silhouette of my most loyal supporter appears and walks confidently into the room. A thin smile spreads over my face, like a relief to recognize a familiar face after these two years living in the lie, where I have known only threats and enemies. I get up and shyly take a step forward then take him in my arms for a long second.

- It makes me happy to see you, Nathan…

- Me too Owen… glad to see you got out of this mission…

We stay silent for a few moments, then I go back and take a little distance. I feel his benevolent gaze on me as if he was studying every detail to detect the differences left by time and by my cover identity.

- I see you adopted the three-day beard look… it changes you… he resumes smiling.

- Yes, the budding beard was part of the look of my blanket and I decided to keep it in… it seems fashionable, considering the number of men that I see in the streets of Seattle, I conclude with a smile.

Nathan nods then I can see his face take on a more serious and almost darker appearance.

- How are you, Owen?

The question seems the simplest possible… and yet the tone he uses lets me guess all the meaning he associates with it. I lower my eyes a few seconds before trying my hand at an answer.

- I’m glad to be back home… but the situation is much more difficult than I thought…coming back from the dead is not really a scenario that I have already had the opportunity to prepare…

- Logically, you shouldn’t go through this, given the choice you made almost 2 years ago…

- Yes, I know… and I remember very well that you warned me. But at that moment, 2 years ago, I was convinced I was making the right decision for everyone. And above all, I was convinced that I was the strongest… that the reason would be the strongest.

- I’m not here to lecture you, Owen… I’m here to help you if I can…

He slips a hand into his suit jacket pocket and takes out two items: an envelope and a bunch of keys.

- Here is the key to your apartment: I asked to keep it and not to sell it as you asked me before… I suspected you might change your mind.

I collect the keys, a look grateful for the lucidity of Nathan who knew me better than anyone… even myself.

- And in the envelope?

- In the envelope… that’s what I fought for a week and your call announcing your return. I managed to give you back your Owen Hunt identity, to have your death canceled after long discussions with the management…but you lose your agent status… they don’t want to hear from you anymore.

I was speechless for a few seconds.

What I was doing was completely outside the rules. When you sign up as a spy, it’s a lifelong commitment… the identity that you lose, you abandon it forever. I never imagined that I could have found my life before, back to my true identity…coming back I had prepared to consider an entire life under a new name. Nathan gave me an unexpected and invaluable gift.

- Ho…how did you manage to…

- Don’t worry, he interrupts me, pushing the envelope on the table in my direction. In there you will find all your papers: passport, identity card, license… for the administration, your death never took place and you are an American taxpayer like all.

- I don’t know what you say… I hope you haven’t risk for your situation.

- You know, my career is more behind me than in front of me… I have no more to lose, he says with a smile.

- Thank you, Nathan…

These are the only words that come to me. Words that I express in a breath, won by the unfailing commitment that he shows to me.

- On the other hand, you imagine the compensation…you have no interest in being noticed in any way that it is regarding the authorities and do no imagine having to ask for any support if you were considering becoming a bodyguard again.

- Of course, I understand… but anyway, I don’t intend to completely resume my previous life.

- What are you going to do then?

- I don’t know yet…I have enough money aside to be able to take the time to give another meaning to my professional life…but I know I won’t be able to be anyone’s bodyguard after this experience…

A silence of a minute or more suddenly sets in.

My gaze remains on the bunch of keys and the envelope that materializes this life that I thought was lost forever…I rediscovered my identity, my apartment, and my memories, and yet I knew that some things were different. Things that would be much more difficult to find.

- Do you plan to see her again? Is that why you came back?

Nathan’s question pierces the silence and targets precisely the biggest unknown of my return as Owen Hunt.

- Yes…I did not manage to forget her…I realized that I am more unhappy far from her, that I suffer more than in any other situation. Even if I don’t live up to her expectations…I need to know…to try to be who she expects.

- I won’t tell you anything about Amelia, you have to confront her alone…but know that two years is short and long at the same time…and your "death" was a terrible ordeal for her…I don’t know how she will react when she sees you again…but prepare yourself psychologically… she went through very difficult times.

Everything Nathan expresses to me, I was already anticipating. But hearing my fears and thoughts thus confirmed by a third party, one of those I trusted the most, only increased my nervousness.

- She…is she fine?

- Yes, she’s fine Owen… I haven’t stopped keeping an eye on her since you left as you asked me. Your return will however be a real shock. She’s been healing her pain for the past two years… she loved you really, you know…

The past that Nathan uses makes me tense despite myself, but I try not to pay too much attention to it. In two years, many things could have changed: for her, maybe I was just a memory…

- Just tell me, what do you hope by seeing her again? Why are you planning to see her again and come back to her life?

- I…I just hope to explain to her that I regret my decision…that this is the only outcome that I imagined, two years ago, I was not ready for anything else, unfortunately…that I blame myself for all this pain that I inflicted on her…

- And now are you ready for something else?

- Yes…beyond all that, I have this somewhat crazy hope, that she hasn’t forgotten me… that the feelings that you evoked are not completely extinguished…

I realize by expressing aloud my previously inner hopes that they may seem completely utopian…and at the same time, I’m in a state of mind to tell myself that I have nothing to lose.

I have already lost so much in the last two years.

I don’t want to have any more regrets, unanswered questions.

Even if I come out with a broken heart, I will know…I will have tried everything…to no longer live with these regrets and these doubts that consume me a little more every day.

- I hope the outcome will be happy for you Owen… but prepare yourself… the journey may still be difficult… and you risk suffering even more…

I nod, but my conviction is stronger than anything…a question burns me despite everything…

- Do you think it’s lost in advance… that I don’t stand a chance?

Nathan looks down as if to think, then quickly finds my pupils.

- I do not predict what may happen… I have never been good at guessing women's reactions, especially when it comes to love… he retorts, a smile in his voice.

I smile back, which relaxes me a bit, after these exchanges marked by a certain tension for me.

- How am I going to find her?

- She lives at an address that you know well…

He lets the mystery hover for a few seconds, before revealing the information I miss.

- Amelia returned to Madison Park… she had the house that was so dear to her rebuilt, as to foil the fate and misfortune that may have taken place there a few years ago.

The revelation made just now by Nathan leaves me wondering and admiring… she found the strength to start over in this place, which corresponded the most to a « home » which she missed so much during her childhood and adolescence. Her strength of character will always impress me… some things had not changed, and my hope is rekindled a little more.

- Good luck, Owen…

Nathan warmly shakes my hand, while placing his other hand on my shoulder.

- I hope happiness awaits you at the end of the road for both of you, you deserve it.

- Thanks for everything Nathan… sincerely…

--

Later in the night

--

The images from the talk with Nathan fulfill my expectations, shifting me from hope to despair.

Here I am again in Madison Park, a few steps from a house that crystallizes all my anguish but also my wishes. This evening in May is particularly sweet and brings back memories of times spent in the same neighborhood, a certain summer. I realize that in 3 months, it will be precisely 2 years since I left her life….that I officially died for her…

I get off my motorbike, the waiting motionless, sitting on my motorbike becoming unbearable. A glance at my watch reveals to me that it is 9 pm: I have already been waiting for an hour…the house remains desperately dark, with no sign of life.

Does Amelia have any commitments outside of Seattle?

Maybe I’m stupidly waiting for nothing and she won’t make an appearance tonight?

I doubt.

I hesitate.

The wait allowed me to observe the details of the house…it seems to have been rebuilt as faithfully as possible to the original building: the same porch with staircase and columns, same large windows to let in light. The only noticeable difference that I notice is the terrace which was built a little more in the corner and the back as if to be better protected from view and the outside.

--

The roar of an engine suddenly gets closer and I make out a taxi driving down the quiet street of this district of Madison Park until it stops in front of this house that I could have drawn with my eyes closed.

The beating of my heart activates immediately in a thousandth of a second.

Without thinking, like on autopilot, my legs start to move and slowly approach the house. I soon see a silhouette getting out of the car.

A female silhouette, dressed in a leather jacket, revealing a guitar bag on the back.

The detail confirms the identity of this young woman for good.

It’s her…she is there, a few meters from me.

My pace quickens as she climbs the steps to her front door. She looks for her keys in her bag for a few seconds, a reprieve that allows me to make up my delay and to place myself silently on the penultimate step of her porch.

I hear the clinking of her set of keys in her hand.

I take a deep breath, my heart seems ready to explode in my chest.

My lips finally let this name escape, which I have whispered every night for so long months while climbing the last two steps to find myself at her height.

- Good evening Amelia…

A metallic and muffled sound then rises.

My gaze catches the silver reflection of the keys on the ground, fallen a few centimeters behind her. The shock of my voice visibly made her escape from her hands.

Her back is still facing me. She stays motionless.

I recognize her silhouette much more precisely. The first detail that strikes me is her hair, which only reaches her shoulders…and this feeling that she is even more fragile and thin than before as if she had lost weight…

I perceive her hands to take place along her body.

Her left hand then starts to shake mechanically.

I speak again as gently as possible to dispel her anguish and shock.

- Amelia…calm down…I know it’s unbelievable at this moment…but it’s me…Owen…

I can see her breathing becoming more jerky and difficult as her shoulders and back jump slightly, and her strong, forced breath echoes up to my ears.

A little helpless in front of her paralysis, I immediately reveal the truth of the situation, the deception that I imagined.

- The truth is… it’s that I did not die at the Music Awards Evening…

Following these words, her body moves slowly in profile and she turns completely.

I discovered her for the first time of these long months, a few centimeters from me.

I recognize the details of her face, then discover this new haircut that looks great on her…but her eyes escape me as she keeps her gaze down. As if she refused to discover my image.

- What you saw almost two years ago… was a smokescreen…

An unexpected reaction then takes place before my eyes: she lifts her face in a sudden movement. But I hardly have time to discover her as a sharp and loud snap hits my right cheek. A slap where she seems to have put all her strength and anger. I close my eyes for a few moments in shock.

I hear her breathing still strong, but the rhythm is slightly different marked more by anger than fear.

I end up looking up and opening my eyes again.

She is there, in front of me, her eyes red and misted with tears. Her wide eyes reveal a vibrant intensity which studies me…observe me…almost rediscover me.

Her features are hard, her expressionless face. The reflection of hurt and shocked woman.

- I can’t go back, but…

- What are you doing here? She interrupts me, with a hint of aggression in her voice. Does your little smokescreen life no longer suit you? She continues with a touch of sarcasm, behind which however I perceive a sharp pain.

In the worst-case scenario I had imagined, I had not considered her first words to be so harsh and scathing…filled with blame and anger. Despite myself, I am destabilized by the turn of events. I was not prepared for this confrontation…for a meeting so fraught with tension.

A few seconds pass in an electric atmosphere.

I study her face, noticing a new emotion take place…anger gives way to pain.

And it is in a less assured and almost trembling voice that she takes the floor again.

- I can’t believe you staged your own death…after all that may have happened… all that I have been able to experience…

- I know it sounds completely illogical… and unforgivable, but just let me explain…

- It doesn’t matter, leave me alone…you are no longer part of my life… she whispers tiredly.

- Amelia, I understand the show this is for you, but…

Footsteps rise behind my back and a voice rings out, interrupting me in my explanations as a silhouette settles alongside Amelia.

- Amelia, everything is fine?

I recognize Andrew with surprise… and my eyes widen even more when I discover a baby, asleep in his arms.

Amelia silently nods to her question and stretches out her hands to take the baby.

She focuses on the arrival of Andrew and this toddler, behaving like I am no longer there.

I remain paralyzed in front of the scene and these exchanges, taken aback by the flow of information that accumulates and collides in my mind.

Andrew watches Amelia pick up the toddler, kiss his forehead, then finally turns his attention to me. I notice his feature wrinkle for a few seconds, then tighten as he recognizes me.

He observes me a little more intense but remains silent.

Amelia, the baby still in her arm, retrieves her keys from the ground and slips them into the lock.

The door creaks open and she steps into the house.

- Andrew…

A touch of exasperation and annoyance awakens in Amelia’s call, while Andrew remains as if fascinated by my presence.

- Yes, honey, I am coming, he finally responds by breaking the connection with my face and coming back in his turn.

The term of affection concludes to answer my questions and to tighten my heart a little more.

A heavy ebony door closes quickly and gradually in front of me while the gaze of the one, who has haunted my days and my nights so much, refuses me…ignoring me completely, as if to show me that I am only a memory for her… a forgotten past and that she does not want to relive.

Before the door closes completely, a few words reach me as the last connection with this woman whom I have betrayed and hurt deep inside.

- Goodbye, Owen…leave us alone.

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Thank you for reading this chapter and this story. It was a great journey with you guys! Hope you will like it.

I wrote a new story about omelia and I don't know if you are interested and if you want to read it. I can post the first chapter and you will tell me if you want to read it or not!

Stay safe and be happy 💛

[omeliastoriesbyari]

Broken family

This prompt takes place 4 years later Leo in now 5 years old and in school. In his class they are talking about Family and this make Leo very sad and upset.

“Bye bud I’ll see you later okay,” Owen said hugging the small child in front of him.

Leo gave him a small smile and walked in the classroom. Once in the classroom Leo immediately put his things away and took his seat.

“Well good morning class,” Leo’s Teacher Mrs. Gilbert says. Leo and the rest of his classmates say good morning back.

“Alright class today we’re going to talk about our families,” Mrs. Gilbert said.

Leo looked around the classroom to see all the kids smiling because they get to talk about their families. While Leo in the other hand isn’t so excited about this subject so he decides to lay his head down on the desk. He loves his mom and dad butHe really didn’t want to talk about his family.

“Alright kids we’re going to going in order so Sarah you’ll go first,” Mrs. Gilbert said calmly.

A couple of kids went and Leo just sat back and listened to how perfect and happy their families sounded and he wished for that. He couldn’t remember the time he had a perfect happy family like theirs. After a while it was finally Leo’s turn to talk about his family.

“Okay Leo it your turn,” The teacher said.

“Well my family isn’t perfect or happy like you guys. I live with my dad for the most part I have two little siblings a sister and a brother. My sister stays with her mom I see her every other week and my brother stays with our mom and his dad I see them every once in a while. My mom is happy I guess I don’t know about my dad. But when I was a baby we used to have a perfect happy family but that didn’t really last very long and my parents broke up. I wish it could be like that again,”Leo said with tears in his eyes that he was trying to hold back the best he could.

Leo quietly walked back to his seat and put his head. He let the tears roll out of his eyes but didn’t make any noise so no one would know he was crying. Through out the day Leo kept to himself now it was time to go. All of the other kids parents came earlier than Leo’s which is normal he is so used to it now. So Leo was just sitting at his desk drawing in his notebook with Amelia walked in smiling.

Amelia walked up to Leo while he was still looking down at his notebook and tapped him on the shoulder and he looked up at her with a straight face. Amelia had a confused look on her face because she was expecting a different reaction from him he usual is so smiley but he wasn’t today. She knew something was up because Leo was always so happy to see her.

“Hey Lion I decided to surprise you and come get you from school today,” Amelia said rubbing her fingers through his soft curls and calling him by his nickname she had been calling him since he was a baby. Leo nodded his head and got up to get his things. Amelia was really surprised at how he was acting that’s when Leo’s teacher walked up to her.

“Leo had a not so good day today,” Mrs.Gilabert said.

“Why what happened?” Amelia said worried cause she never seen her little happy boy like this ever.

“Well today in class we talked about our families and this subject upsetted Leo. I think you and his father should have a talk about this,” Mrs. Gilbert said.

After Leo finished gathering his thing and putting them on he went to Amelia and stood by her. She gently grabbed his hand and left out of the school.

Once they got to the car Amelia buckled Leo into his car seat then got the car. During the drive Leo didn’t say anything Amelia look back at him in the rear view mirror and he was looking out the widow silently.

“Lion I heard you and your classmates talked about your families today and this upsetted you. Why did this you upset baby?” Amelia asked and Leo just looked at her and didn’t respond.

After a couple of minutes of driver they were at Mer’s house. Amelia unbuckled Leo from his seat belt and grabbed his bag and walked to the door to unlock it. As soon as she unlocked it Leo dashed into the house. Amelia let out a sigh and sat down the couch.

While Amelia was relaxing on the couch Maggie walked through the front door. Amelia quickly popped up and smiled at Maggie not a happy smile but a more disappointed one. Maggie took off her jacket and hung it up then went to go take a seat next to Amelia.

“What’s wrong I can see it all over your face,” Maggie said in a comforting voice.

“It’s Leo he had a bad day at school they were talking about their families today and this subject really upsetted him and he wouldn’t tell me why nor will he talk to me at all and I don’t know what to do,” Amelia sighed and rubbed her hand down her face.

“I don’t know what to say but how about I try talking to him? And you try talking to his father about this?” Maggie said and Amelia nodded her head.

“Where is he?” Maggie asked getting up.

“He’s upstairs probably with bailey,” Amelia said.

After an hour Maggie walked back downstairs and sat next to Amelia.

“I talked to him about what made him upset today but he doesn’t want me to tell you because he doesn’t want to hurt your or Owen’s feeelings,” Maggie said put her hand on Amelia’s shoulder.

“How about you go upstairs and try talking to him again,” Maggie said giving Amelia a comforting look.

Amelia nervousnessly got up from where she was sitting and walked upstairs to where Leo was. He was sitting in Amelia’s bed hugging his stuffed dog her and Owen had bought him when he was a baby. He had head behind the dog so she couldn’t see his face. She calmly walked over to the bed and took a seat next to him. She softly placed her hand on his back but he didn’t move at all. So Amelia picked him up and placed him in her lap like she always used to do. She softly ran her fingers through his curls and swayed back and forth slowly.

“Leo can we please talk about what upset you today in class? I would really like to know I promise me or your father won’t be upset.” Amelia said rubbing his back Leo slowly lifted his head and looked at Amelia but still didn’t say anything.

“You know I love you so much Lion please talk to me,” Amelia pled once again.

Leo finally decided to her what upsetted him today. Leo explained to her how all the kids in his school had these perfect happy families and he didn’t. He told her he felt sad that he barely get to see her anymore. He told everything about he felt about their family situation.Amelia frowned she didn’t know Leo felt like that and felt sad that he felt that way.

“Lion why haven’t you told this is how you felt? We never want you to feel like this. I promise mommy and your daddy will fix it,” Amelia said hugging him tight.

After a couple hours Amelia was laying in the bed with Leo asleep in her arms. She softly laid him under the covers and slowly slid out of the bed. Amelia slowly left out the room and closed the door quietly. She quickly grabbed her to call Owen. She called Owen after the third ring Owen picked up the phone.

“Hello Amelia I’m still at work I come get Leo as soon as I get off,” Owen spoke tiredly.

“No O I didn’t call about that I’m calling to tell you about Leo’s day at school,” Amelia said.

“What happened is he okay?,” Owen said panicking.

“He is okay now but he got really upset at school today when they were talking about their families. I think I should get Leo every other week like you get Alison because he feels like every since we have kids with other people we forgot about him and he didn’t even get to enjoy us long enough,” Amelia said sadly.

“I just want him to be happy. He never knew he felt like that I knew he missed you but I never thought about how everything changed so quickly would affect him in the long run.” Owen said.

Sorry guys I haven’t posted in a while here’s a story I been thinking about writing for a while because everything Krista has done. I don’t how long I’ll keep this up cause I want to rewrite it. And sorry for any spelling errors I did this quickly

[toevenexist]

The Darkening Pt.19

Hey Everyone! So I had half of this little chapter written a year ago? (something like that, sorry), and when I came and read it back I nearly cried, its like a little time capsule I wrote! Arizona! And Oh boy Omelia, I feel this all so much. I wrote them and their love, how I always hoped (and hopefully still do hope) love could be. 

Oh boy. I’ll get writing the next chapter. Please please send feedback, really just let me hear your thoughts, I’m awful emotional these days, and I cry real easy. Could use some moral support tbh. 

Link to Chapter 1 for any new readers

Link to Chapter 18 for anyone wanting to recap

Masterpost

I sincerely hope this was worth the wait. Thank you for sticking with me.  Enjoy:

The house was quiet. Amelia stood at the window of the living room and pulled up the blind. The sun was rising. Orange light poured in, the feeling warmed Amelia’s chest. She had been waking up at this time for the past few weeks, someday’s the sky would be so densely overcast, with clouds hanging low. Not today, today the far sides of the cotton like clouds were orange and pink, and the sky that peaked through behind was indigo. 

Amelia sat down on the chair she had placed by the window weeks ago. It was a routine, she’d awaken before sunrise, before everyone else, and amble about the house. She’d check on the kids,  letting her eyes drift across their beds, their faces would always be so calm, lips in sleepy pouts. 

She’d make herself a cup of tea and go to the window, to watch the sun come up, and then fall asleep, there in the tattered armchair. Someone would always wake her late morning, usually Owen, or one of the girls, in a sweet and gentle way, tickling fingertips across her brow line, tiny hands rubbing circles against her round stomach. She’d opened her eyes to little Ellis doing this first, and the girl smiled, eyes glowing with the kind of energy only she, too young to understand what was lost, could possess. 

The sky slowly evolved in its colours, the light becoming yellower, the clouds lost their pink. Amelia rest her head back, and consciously relaxed her jaw, inhaling deeply through her nose. She had one hand wrapped around her mug of fruit tea, absorbing the heat, and her other moving in soothing circles against her taut stomach.  She was about a month from her due date, and the babies had limited room now, so their movement was restricted, more like sharp nudges and shoves, as if they were sharing a tent that was much too small for the both of them.

 Amelia took a sip of her tea and rest the mug atop her stomach, looking down at herself. In disbelief for a moment, she though, if someone had given her the ability to see into this moment a year ago, she wouldn’t have believed it. 

Before her mind wandered too far, and anxiety gripped too hard, she paused, and breathed deep, uttering “five things I can see.” She glanced up at the sky. “The sky… the clouds, the sun… The tree tops… snow” she breathed deep, and closed her eyes. Listening now to the sounds of her friends breathing heavily in their sleep behind her. 

One sound prompted her to snap her eyes open. She sat forward, eyes wide up to the sky. She put her tea down and stood slowly, pressing one hand against her lower back as it ached under her load. Her eyes were wide, filled with light. Among the clouds; A bird swayed across the sky mutely, Amelia’s eyes followed it. One of the babies nudged her and she held herself, ears twitching again at the sound of the bird wailing softly. She smiled up, at the first bird she’d seen since before this all began. He soured across the treetops, dancing in circles, as if he knew he had an audience. 

Suddenly another appeared and Amelia gasped, watching them circle around each other. Amelia quickly eyed Owen, looking undecidedly between him and the window. She moved to him slowly, keeping her eyes out of the window. Nudging him with her foot, she called his name in a whisper. His eyes sprang open and he sat up in a panic. She smiled, shaking her head and he immediately calmed. 

“Look…” is all she said, gesturing that he should follow her back to the window. She only knew he had followed by his presence behind her, his arms around her. He rest his chin on her shoulder, as if trying to see through her eyes. “Look up there” she whispered, pointing. His eyes captured the birds in their dance.

Amelia’s eyes glistened and she held Owen’s arms against her, smiling slightly, biting her bottom lip. The two birds swam in soft zig zags across the treeline and then soured upwards, up and up until they were up above the house, and out of sight. 

Amelia turned within the circle of Owen’s arms and smiled wider, tears dropping fast from her eyes. Owen smiled too, and they didn’t need to say anything. More tears fell and they kissed, sinking down onto the armchair, curled against one another, with arms entangled and embracing. Amelia looked up at Owen, at the sky reflected then in his shining eyes.

 He looked down, meeting her gaze, smiling contently. “I love you” he told her, and she nodded, uttering “I love you too…” whispering “so much” as she rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes. She moved both of her hands to his chest, so that he had access to her whole stomach. He pushed his hand up under her white shirt and moved it in firm, shushing, circles, enticing a sigh from his wife's lips.

`The birds could still be heard, the first sound of life that had poured from the sky. Owen remained awake, eyes cast down at Amelia, draped across his lap. Her features were illuminated by the yellow of the sun. Her breathing deepened as sleep took her and her whole body slackened. Owen brushed the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear, before pushing her shirt up over her bump. He rest his hand gently against it, running his eyes around her, taking in the sight. 

It was an odd feeling; feeling so incredibly lucky and unlucky at the same time, it was like a hand was wrapped around his heart, intermittently clenching and then unclenching its grip. He had to remind himself to not think about all that was wrong and all that could go wrong all at once. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, pressing his lips to Amelia’s forehead, breathing in her smell. He remained in that position, lips against her, hand against large swell of her stomach. One of the babies shifted minutely, a twitch of movement under his hand, and Owen smiled, kissing Amelia again. 

“Owen…” Owen looked around, Arizona was sat up on the couch. Her eyes were wide and immensely blue in the light. Owen smiled tearily. “Is… that birds? That sound?” Arizona asked, dragging her index finger across her cheek to move her hair from her face. Owen chuckled breathlessly and nodded, looking back to the sky. The birds were in sight again. Arizona moved to the window and peered up, mouth agape. They both watched. Arizona curled her arms around herself, feeling the chill of the winter creep through the glass. Her mind was up with the birds though. “They’re beautiful…” she said, “I thought we’d never see anything again…” She beamed suddenly, and chuckled, shaking her head. “This… they are a sign I think” 

Owen nodded, smiling tightly, uttering “I think so too.” 

Arizona looked down at Owen, and at Amelia. Her smile softened, “She’s beautiful…” she said, pressing her lips, letting her eyes drift across the pair. She held herself tighter and wandered across to the mattress that Owen and Amelia shared, scooping up the blanket. She brought it back and draped it across them, gently lowering it onto Amelia so not to wake her. “Thank you” Owen spoke quietly. Arizona just nodded and made her way over the the fire, she leant down beside it and nudged the embers, placing some paper and then some wood on it. The fire fluttered at the edges of the paper and then regained, engulfing the debris. Arizona swiftly dropped another log onto it and then watched, hands in her lap, as the flames wrapped around it. Warmth built against her skin and she relaxed into her seat, smiling slightly.

 Owen closed his eyes. Though he could feel anxiety and worry at the very edges of his mind, he focused in on the feeling of utter contentedness and it swelled, one of the babies nudged against his hand.

TBC

Thank you for reading xxxx ALSO please reblog, I know I had many people reading this way back when, who didn’t/don’t follow me, more reblogs means it’ll find its way back to them. 

ALSO also please tell me what you’d like to read here next?

[trashforgubler]

Paralyzed

Word Count: 1065

Summary: Amelia helps Owen through a PTSD flashback

Extra Info: Writers block was being a  b i t c h  so I had to raise this boi which has being sitting in my word docs from the dead and it is now resurrected. Also this fic is named after the song “Paralyzed” by NF and this dude is literally one of my favorite artists so if your into really deep just like, smart rap check him out

Warnings: Light swearing, panic attack 

Requests: Open pls send (like I said writers block is a  b i t c h)

Feedback pls and thank

masterpost

“Dr. Shepherd?”

Amelia turned around and faced Cross, who looked more confused than usual. His blond hair was sticking up in various positions, none of which were making him look like a competent doctor capable of saving lives. Amelia prayed that the next words out of his mouth were not I’m on your service today, in which case she might actually cry on the spot. Nevertheless, she plastered on a fake smile to hide her growing disdain for the man’s existence.

“What’s up Cross?”

“You need to go to the on-call room,” he spat out. “Now.”

Amelia furrowed her eyebrows and smirked. She couldn’t believe that any intern, let alone Cross was ordering her around like that. She let a laugh of disbelief escape her lips as she responded.

“Cross in what world do you think you can te-“

“It’s Dr. Hunt.”

Amelia’s smile fell from her face as quickly as it had appeared. She set her Surface down before sprinted to the on-call room, her mind playing out a thousand scenarios about what she would find when she opened the door.

Is he sick? Probably not, he looked fine this morning

Is he horny? Always a possibility, but not a situation he would get Cross involved in.

Is he upset? Did he lose a patient?

She could hear Owen before she even opened the door.

He was pacing from one side of the room to the other in the darkness, shaking his hands down by his sides and muttering something Amelia couldn’t make out under his breath. Slowly, she began walking over, making sure not to startle him.

“Owen,” she whispered. “Owen it’s me, it’s Amelia.”

Owen didn’t acknowledge her, instead, he kept pacing, completely oblivious to her presence and letting the sounds of his erratic breathing be his response. His chest was heaving wildly as beads of sweat dripped down his temples and onto his shirt. The wringing of his hands was becoming increasingly faster as his breathing was becoming more and more of a wheeze and less of a breath.

There is no way he’s getting enough air. Amelia thought to herself.

“How can I help O?”

“You can’t help him. No one can help him, he’s dead.” “Owen no one’s dead, do you know where you are?”

“He’s dead, I- I killed him.” Owen finally stopped pacing and looked at his hands, his eyes widening in fear as tears began flowing down his cheeks. “I killed him, I killed him.” He repeated between gasps.

“Here, come sit down.” Amelia coaxed. Owen ignored her again, his shoulders rising up and down as he began to hyperventilate even more. “I k-killed him.”

“Breathe, breathe, you’re okay. You’re safe, everyone’s safe.” Amelia moved in closer to him, close enough to feel the heat radiating off his body as she ran her hand up and down his back, hoping to ground him, or at the very least calm him down enough so he could take a damn breath.

Owen shook his head. “He was right there and I just…” he paused for a moment. “I just let him die.” His voice cracked as he finished his sentence, and a new stream of tears began flowing down his face, staining the neckline of his shirt.

Amelia wrapped him in her arms, holding him tight against her small frame as he shook. “Breathe.” She whispered in his ear. Owen couldn’t hug her back, so they stood there, in the middle of a dark on-call room, with Amelia holding tight onto his shaking body, and Owen’s arms dangling limply at his side.

When his breathing finally started to slow, Amelia led him by the hand to the bottom bunk and sat him down. She untied his shoes and wiped his forehead and cheeks with the edge of her lab coat.

“Do you want some water?”

Owen looked up at her for the first time, finally registering her presence.

“I- sorry what?” he asked, completely disoriented. The last thing he remembered was walking into the on-call room because he needed a break from the ER. He had no recollection of anyone coming in or sitting down. And he definitely didn’t know why he felt so hot.

Relief flooded through Amelia’s body as she heard Owen’s voice. He sounded much more lucid then he had just moments ago.  She studied him and found that his eyes had finally lost the glossed over look they had had for the past half hour.

“I said do you want some water?”

“No, I’m good.”

Amelia nodded, just being thankful he was finally breathing normally.

“What happened?” Owen asked.

Amelia crouched down in front of him and took his hands in hers, running her thumb over his wedding ring.

“You had a PTSD flashback,” she started, “A bad one.”

Owen nodded, still not remembering. “You were pacing and having trouble breathing which is why you might feel a little tired or light-headed right now, but you're okay. Everything is fine.”

Owen looked at the ground in embarrassment. He hated when that happened. He hated when Amelia saw him like that, and he especially hated when she had to take time out of her day to babysit him.

“Sorry.” He muttered, biting his lower lip as to not let anything else out. It appears he had already done enough damage; he didn’t need to cry on top of it.

“Owen no,” Amelia said firmly. “Look at me.”

Owen shook his head, not wanting to let Amelia see that despite his greatest efforts his eyes were watering, and his lip was trembling and there was nothing he could do to make it stop.

“Look at me.” She ordered.

Owen obeyed and cast his teary gaze up to her.

“You do not get to apologize for this, you hear me? This is not your fault, and it sure as hell isn’t in your control.”

“But I wasted your time…” he mumbled miserably.

“Owen, do I look mad?”

Owen shook his head, too afraid to say anything else in case he broke down again.

“You are never a waste of time, okay? You can always call me if you’re scared or sad or angry or happy or anything and I will be there, no questions asked.”

The smallest smile found its way onto Owen’s lips as he realized how goddamn lucky he was.

“Okay,” he said softly

“Okay.”

[storybrookelifestyle]

Anyone up for reading an old (unposted) omelia fan fiction?

[amelia-blackshepherd]

Record Time (1)

Here is the first part based off a prompt I got ‘Mama Shepherd and the shepherd sisters come out to Seattle and learn of Amelia’s home life with Owen, Betty and Leo.’ There is so much damage between Amelia and her family I have to break this story up. Hope you like it.

“Amelia! Wait up?” Meredith’s voice interrupts. I stop and send the intern I had been instructing off to check on a patient.

“What’s up Mer?” I impatiently ask, while checking scans on my iPad. “I was supposed to be in the OR like 10 minutes ago. So, whatever it is can we talk about it later.”

Meredith begins to object, when Alex comes storming up to us, “Shepherd. Aren’t you supposed to be in surgery right now? There is a reason we have a board, and a reason we stick to a schedule.”

I smirk a little internally, this new intern chief position is really bringing out Alex’s responsible and bossy side. I nod, “Yes, I was just headed there, Mer just had a quick question for me.”

He seemed to accept that answer and went off to deal with some other problem. I am still waiting for Meredith to say whatever it is that she needed to say. “I’ll find you after, it can wait.”

“Ok. I’ll text you when I am out of surgery.” I tell her and head off to the OR.

After scrubbing out of surgery, I got a page to the ER. After a quick consult there I see Mer texted me, she was in the scan room. I decided to change my clothes first and go pick up Leo as I was done for the day and the nursery was on the way.

I pushed the door to the scan room open while sending Owen a quick text to let him know I picked up Leo, who was on my hip at the moment, “Hey, Mer, sorry about early, today was crazy what did you want to tell me?” My eyes had been on my phone as I entered the room, so the voice that responded caused my head to jerk up in surprise and brought me face to face with my mother.

My mother as usual gets straight to the point as her eyes take in the baby I am currently straddling on my hip. “Well, I guess congratulations are in order. Why didn’t you tell me you were expecting? How old is he?” She asks, like nothing is wrong, like the last 4 years of radio silence since my wedding hadn’t happened. She stretches her arms out towards Leo, like she thinks I am just going to hand him over to her.

I take a step or two back and position Leo, so he is partially protected from her by my body. “I didn’t even know you were in Seattle.” I say to my mother, ignoring all her personal questions.

“Come now Amy, just let me see the little guy and we can talk and catch up.” My mother tries again, taking another step towards me, causing me to immediately add space between us, placing myself closer to the door.

Meredith joins in hoping to ease some of the tension, “That is actual what I wanted to tell you earlier.” I shot daggers at her with my eyes, she knows the situation between my mother and I, how could she let me walk into this situation. “I only found out last night.” Meredith tries to defend.

“Amy, I am your mother, can we just talk? You should have told me about …” Carolyn says.

My mothers’ words do nothing but infuriate me, “Leo. His name is Leo. And I didn’t tell you about him as it is none of your business. Not now, not after everything.” I pause to steady my breath, I won’t let her see me cry.

“Amy, don’t be like that.” She tries to reason with me.

I shake my head, begging the tears not to drop from my eyes, “No, you don’t get to just appear and pretend like you have been in my life. So much has happened in the past few years, and you don’t know any of it. And that is not my fault. That is your fault. You choose to not be in my life. You choose not to trust me. You choose to question my sobriety. This is on you.” The anger is the only thing keeping me from completely breaking down right now.

“I should give you two some space.” Meredith chimes in quietly as she takes a step towards the door.

My mother nodding and smiling at Meredith says, “Thank you, Meredith.”

But I can’t keep doing this. “No, Mer you stay. I was just going home anyway.” I head towards the door Leo still resting on my hip, during the conversation he had buried his face against my body, he looked quite sleepy.

“Amelia!” I hear both of them call as I head out the door. But I don’t stop. I just leave the room, and head out to my car. To go home.

I got home before Owen, Leo was clearly ready for a nap, so I put him down and decided to start supper. I texted Betty before I started cooking the pasta to see if she would be home for supper or if she was staying at her friend’s house. She texted back almost immediately, which made me happy in a mother of a teenager who also happens to be a drug addict kind of way, she said she was on her way home.

Her and Owen got home just before the pasta was ready. We all sat down to eat, I debated telling Owen about the surprise visit from my mother however decided to would only raise questions and likely snark from Betty, so I decided it was best to wait till after we ate.

After we finished eating, Owen and I headed to the kitchen to do the dishes. Leo was in his play pen in the living room and Betty was on the couch doing her homework. I glance to make sure Betty wasn’t listening before telling Owen about my encounter with my mother.

I barely got into it before the doorbell rang. I began to set down my dish towel but stopped when Betty yelled “I got it.” So, I went back to the task at hand, I could hear voices as Betty answered the door, although I wasn’t too concerned until Betty called out to me, “Amelia!”

“Hush, it is fine. He is my grandbaby I can pick him up dear. And who did you say you were again?” Carolyn Shepherd asks Betty.

I put my towel down and hurried into the other room, only to be surprised for the second time today by the same women I hadn’t seen in years. “What are you doing here?” I demand moving towards Leo’s play pen where my mother was also headed.

“Now, now, Amy is that any way to talk to your mother.” Carolyn responds.

Betty who is still standing near the door has an amused and confused look plastered across her face, “Wait. Grandbaby? Mother?”

“Betty, go to your room.” I tell her, not ready to get into this right now, as I was focused on getting my mother out of this house. When Betty continued standing there watching me as I protectively grab Leo out of my mothers reach and hold him against myself. “We can talk about this later, go to your room now.”

“You can’t have secrets and be sober.” Betty quotes back to me, something I had told her back when we were first figuring out our dynamic.

“Betty. Now.” I say throwing her what can only be described as a mother look. Betty rolls her eyes and trudges upstairs to her room.

“And who exactly is she?” My mother asks in her straight-forward-needs-to-know-everything kind of way.

“Mom, what are you doing here? I thought I was clear back at the hospital. How do you even know where I live anyway, it is not like you have ever been here.” I say, carrying Leo with me back into the kitchen where Owen is because knowing my mother, I will want him near me for support.

“I am here to talk to you Amy and get to know this secret surprise grandbaby. And Maggie told me where you lived while I was at Meredith’s visiting my other grandkids, you know, the ones I knew about.”

I hand Leo over to Owen and turn back around to face my mother. “Okay, then talk. What is so important after four years that you now, all the sudden need to talk to me so badly.”

“Amy…” She tries to start.

But I cut her off, “Amelia. Nobody calls me Amy anymore.” I harshly inform her.

“Please just listen, I know I made a mistake when I didn’t come to your wedding, but you have to look at it from my point of view.” She tries to rationalize.

I jump in though, “No, I really don’t. You abandoned me on one of the biggest most important days of my life. I can’t just forgive you, even if you thought it was a mistake, you didn’t even listen to me.”

Leo starts to fuss, Owen looks at me apologetically checking to make sure I would be okay if he left the room to deal with Leo. I nod and tell him I’ll be fine. He heads off with Leo, leaving just me and my mother in the kitchen.

“Amy, I can’t change the past. And I am so sorry I missed out on you building this family, on you becoming a mother.” My mothers says in a soft tone.

I don’t even correct her this time about my name. I have to turn around though, so she doesn’t see how her words affect me as thoughts and images of Christopher flash through my mind.

“Please can we just try and move forward?” My mother’s asks as she places a hand on my shoulder. I push the tears that have threatened to encompass me and turn back to face my mother.

“I don’t know.” I say, because after everything I don’t know if I am ready to let her back into my life. “So, much has changed…” I trail off, not meeting her eyes.

“Then tell me about it, we can change that. I want to be in your life, Amy.” She says kindly.

I want to believe her. She is my mother after all, and I want nothing more than to give in and hug her and let her take some of this pain away, but there is this tiny thought that is nagging me at the back of my head. “You want me in your life?” I ask my voice sounded frail like a young child’s.

She nods and smiles in her warm motherly way, but that voice in the back of my head wants to know, ‘why now?’. “That is why you came to Seattle? To fix our relationship?” I ask, part of me knowing that isn’t the real reason and the childish, naive part of me wants her to just say that is why she is here.

She hesitates before she answers, and I know in that instant, she isn’t here for me. “Well, Meredith invited me for Bailey’s birthday. But I wanted to see you.” She says as she rubs her hand along my arm.

I push her hand off me and move away. “You didn’t come to see me. You didn’t even care that we had not talk in four years. You only care now because of Leo.”

“Amy, it is not like that.” Carolyn says, Owen came back in the room moments before, and quickly clued into the situation.

“Yes, it is.” I say the hurt laced in my voice. I can’t believe I thought she cared even for half a second. “You can go now. I don’t need you in my life. And if you don’t care enough to have me in your life, you don’t deserve my kids.” I say, I can feel the tears building and threatening to run down my face.

“Amy…” She tries again but I am done listening and thank god for Owen as he realized I had reached my limit and stepped in.

“Carolyn, I think it would be best if you left now.” She looks between us as Owen moves closer to me. “I can drive you back to Meredith’s.” Owen offers, clearly trying to be the peace keeper.

“No, no, that’s fine I can take myself.” She looks back at me, and begrudgedly heads towards the doors. Before she lets herself out, she says one last piece, “I do care, Amy. I am your mother, I will always care.”

Once the door shuts behind her I give into the sobs and lean into Owen’s strong frame. He comforts and holds me just like he did when we were separated and he found me crying on the elevator, and all I know is that I couldn’t do any of this without him.

[theshepherdandthehunter]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

A/N: Here’s a short story (a drabble?) on last week’s finale, another one initially written on my phone, at night (I swear I'll post something of actual good quality soon). This picks up at the Omelia house right after the Jolex wedding. In this universe, there’s no pregnant Teddy. It’s just some good old, cliché, Omelia fluff for all those upset with the actual finale ending. Stay positive my dudes! I’m also planning a longer finale fic where there is a pregnant Teddy, but Owen’s not the father (cause Teddy would have to be like seven months pregnant now? Which she did NOT look like), but not sure when I’ll be able to finish that one. I never really watched any episodes with Teddy (apart from those from season 14), so I need to do some research to write her character. For now, enjoy this!

Side note, I wrote this while listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong songs, especially Dream a Little Dream of Me (which is the song mentioned in the fic). Listening to that one will def enhance the feel I’m aiming for here! 

***

“I am beat,” Amelia groans as she throws herself down onto the couch, her heeled feet dangling off the side. “Who knew weddings could be so taxing. Was ours this crazy?”. As soon as the words left her mouth, however, she started laughing. “Don’t answer that, ours was probably worse”.

Owen chuckled. He’d been heating up some waffles left over from breakfast when his ex-wife returned from putting his foster son to bed. Leo had fallen asleep as soon as they’d put him in his car seat, and judging by how he hadn’t even woken up when they’d moved him from the car to the house, he must have been really exhausted. “How’s Betty?”

“She helped me put Leo in his crib and then went to bed herself. She’s had a long day. I think she’s more bothered by her parents not showing up this morning than she’s letting on”.

“I thought you said you hadn’t told her you invited them?” He grabbed the plate of now warm waffles and brought them over to where Amelia was sprawled across the entire length of the couch. She graciously lifted her feet, however, to allow him to slip underneath, before somewhat less graciously dropping them back across his lap.

“I didn’t. But she probably still hoped they’d come. It’s her thirty day sober ceremony, I know I used to hope my mom would show up”. She’d never went, of course, but Amelia couldn’t blame her. She’d never actually invited her, either.

“Yeah”. Owen watched as she grabbed a waffle from the plate he was still holding. “She’s doing great though. With her sobriety, and with Leo. She’s growing. We should take her to dinner or something, to celebrate. We’ve both got tomorrow night off”. Balancing the plate on the back of the couch, he reached down to undo the strap of her heels across her ankle.

“Yeah, I bet she’d like that”. She lifted her gaze to meet Owen’s, smiling at him. She felt oddly proud of them, together. How they were managing caring for both Leo and Betty. “He,” she moved to sit up straight, putting the half-eaten waffle on the coffee table, and slipping her now un-heeled feet to the floor. “We didn’t dance”.

“What?” Owen chuckled, tilting his head with a confused look in his eyes.

“At the wedding,” Amelia clarified, almost giddy now. “With all the chaos and wrong directions and medical emergencies, we never got to dance. You know you’re supposed to dance at weddings”.

“Oh, I know you’re supposed to dance at weddings”. Owen grunted, “if I remember correctly, we danced a lot at ours”.

Amelia sighed blissfully, her eyes closing at the memory. “Those were good times”, she whispers, smiling. “You’re a good dancer”.

Owen let out a snort, “you may be the first person to ever tell me that. We both … improvised. But,” he leaned forward and spiritedly waggled his eyebrows, “we definitely had fun”. He regarded the woman in front of him for a moment. She’d sat up at the thought of dancing, but was now leaning back against the armrest of the couch. Remembering times when they hadn’t yet gone through the debacle that had been their short-lived marriage. Their honeymoon bliss had not lasted long.

He stood up and walked over to where he kept his record collection (yes, record collection, just because Spotify has been invented –and CDs, etc., but who’s counting- didn’t mean he couldn’t still enjoy the nostalgic sound of needle scratching record), and drew out one of his favorite’s. Gently lowering the needle of the player, he stepped back and returned to the couch.    

As the tones of a trumpet began to play, and Ella Fitzgerald’s smooth voice floated into the living room, Owen grabbed Amelia’s hand and pulled her off the couch, walking backwards as he gently pulled her with him until she was close enough so he could slide his hand around her back. Their height difference emphasized now that she was no longer wearing her heels.  

Stars shining bright above you. He met her gaze as they started swaying together, slowly twirling around. Night breezes seem to whisper I love you. Her eyes twinkled with pleasant surprise, and shone a brighter blue than he’d seen in a while. “Please don’t step on my toes,” she giggled. “I’m not wearing shoes while you are”.

They kept dancing and turning and twirling until the voices of Ella and Louis sang out the last notes. Dream a little dream of me. Neither of them noticed when the next song started playing. Standing still, in the middle of the living room, still holding each other. Amelia couldn’t tell who started moving first, but whoever initiated, they slowly leaned towards each other until their lips were mere inches apart. She could feel his shallow breathing matching hers. They really shouldn’t be doing this. This though, however, was soon forgotten when Owen moved in and caught her lips with his.

What started out as a soft kiss, his lips grazing against hers, testing the waters, quickly turned more demanding. It wasn’t a kiss that conveyed every unspoken word and story between them, it was one that reflected the amount of time they’d gone without doing this. They kissed until Amelia realized she could never have enough, clinging to him as if he was the only solid object in her dizzy-turned world. 

But still they broke apart, keeping their foreheads together, their breathing deep and panting. “Owen,” her voice comes out in a soft whisper, and as Owen opened his eyes to look at her, he could see her softly biting her lower lip. “What are we doing?”

“I know what I was doing,” he declared in a breathy chuckle. “And I hope you know what we were doing as well”.

Amelia snorts. “No you dumb ass,” softly punching his shoulder. “I mean in general. What are we doing?”. She leaned away from his embrace, reluctantly, and took a step backwards. “Meredith said something to me today, about us playing house. And it just…” she sighed, not wanting to ruin the moment, but needing to know. “What are we doing?”

Owen, already missing her warmth, took a few seconds to collect his bearings. “We’ve been living together for over a month now, raising these two kids. For all intents and purposes, we are a married couple, Amelia. Only without the … you know, more carnal stuff married couples usually do”.

Amelia smirked, and she swore she could see a slight brush rising to Owen’s cheeks. “The fun stuff”.

He definitely agreed with her, but figured it would be the better choice not to actually voice that agreeance. Instead, he chose to confess his more serious thoughts. “I don’t know what the future holds, obviously, so I can’t tell you where we’re going”. He laughed quietly, “but I do know that, right in this moment, I’m falling for you. Again. And that …” he exhaled slowly, “scares me, but I don’t want it to. I want to be able to dance with you, whenever. And kiss you, and do all the carnal stuff,” he smirked. “Whenever. And I want to continue taking care of Betty and Leo with you, for as long as we can”. He took a step forwards, towards her, and pulled her to him again. “I want this, Amelia. I want you, and all that comes with you. I want to be married to you, again”.

“We’ve got to talk about … stuff”. Amelia worried, unconsciously leaning back into his touch. “We can’t make the same mistakes again”.

“I know. And we will, talk I mean. Tomorrow. I promise. For now, let’s just …” he grinned, tracing the small of her back with his hand. “Dance”.

And so, dance they did. Song after song. Until the record finished and the living room returned to silence once more. And even then, they remained swaying, together. The cold waffles forgotten. With one arm around her back and the other resting in hers, Owen couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Amelia was right, they needed to talk. Dancing wouldn’t magically solve all of their problems, and there were so many things that needed to be out in the open. But right now, he had the woman of his dreams in his arms, and he wasn’t planning on ever letting go again. They could work this out. They could be married again, and make it last this time, really make it last. And if that was all he would realize for the rest of his life, he would be happy. Amelia, and Leo and Betty, they were enough. More than enough. They were everything. They were his dream, she was. A dream he hoped he would never wake up from.

“Let’s go to bed”, he whispered. Let’s go to bed and dream some more.    

[francescabuccino]

To all the fanfics writers: we need a fic about this, even more than one!! Pleasseeeee!!!!

[rollinscarisi]

How Does A Moment Last Forever II

So this story got such a good feedback from you guys, I definitively wasn’t expecting it. Thank you so much!! 💜💜💜💜

Here is the part 2 some of you asked for! Hope it was worth the wait!

Part 1 can be found here (x), if you need a reminder. 

How Does A Moment Last Forever II

Meredith looked at the ultrasound screen and saw what looked to be a blurry image of a tiny baby.

“Congratulations?”

Amelia’s world stopped. Breathe Amelia, just breath. – she told herself. She felt Owen’s grip on her hand tightening and his voice calling her name. She could hear the confusion, the questions and the surprise.

But all she could do was look at Alex Karev, knowing he would understand the look in her eye.

---“---

“Alright, everybody out!” One by one, the others started leaving the room, Meredith being the last, but not before gently squeezing Amelia’s shoulder, letting the neurosurgeon know she was there for whatever she needed.

Amelia closed her eyes, grateful for Alex’s attitude, taking charge of the situation.

“Amelia?” Owen was still holding onto her hand, with no intention of letting go. “Amelia, wha-“

“Hunt, out!”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex sighed. He was never a fan of the trauma surgeon. “Look, this is her business. Not yours. You’re not her husband anymore, you made sure of it, that was your choice. So, get out!”

Owen clenched his fists and took one last look at Amelia, who still had her eyes closed, and reluctantly left the room. He still felt like he had a right, on some level, to be there, after all, she was pregnant with his baby, he hoped so. But as much as he hated it, Karev was right. He wasn’t her husband anymore. And not for the first time, his stomach tightened at the notion.

“Is everyone gone?”

Karev turned back at Amelia, “You can open your eyes now.” She did as he said, and there was no hiding the tears already forming in her eyes. “Want me to leave too? So you get some alone time to think?”

“Can you stay here? Please…”

“Of course.”, Alex said, as he took a seat on the stool previously occupied by Owen.

The two doctors sat there in silent for what felt hours, when in reality only a few seconds passed.

“What am I gonna do, Alex?”, her voice so soft, almost souding like a scared child.And even though Alex knew she definitively wasn’t a child, he also knew she was feeling absolutely terrified.

“I can’t answer that for you.”, he grabbed her hand, “But I am going to be here, for whatever you decide.”

“I can’t abort this baby. I mean, it’s a miracle, right? A baby is a miracle.”

“Then you keep the baby. I know you’re gonna love this baby no matter what.”

“I feel like I already do. Is that weird?”

Alex smiled, “No, it’s not weird.”

“God, everything is such a mess right now. I’m divorced and my ex-husband and father of this baby, who I may or may-not still have feelings for, is in-love with another woman. This is not how I imagined I’d be a mother again.”

“I thought you didn’t want kids…?”

“Owen thinks so too… Because that’s what Tumor Amelia told him.” She laughed somberly, “But I do, I’ve always wanted kids, lots of them.”

“Well, you’re off to a good start then.” Amelia laughed, her real laugh, and Alex felt like his job was done, at least for the time being. “How’s the pain?”

“Better, it’s mostly uncomfortable right now.”

“Do you feel ready to talk to Hunt?”

That was a very good question. Did she? Logically, Amelia knew she had to. He had the right to be there for the child. And she had absolutely no doubt he would be. She knew for certain that this baby was going to have the most wonderful and loving father any child could hope for.

“Give me 10 minutes, and then let him in, please.”

Alex nodded and silently left the room. And to no one’s surprise, there was Hunt standing right outside, noticeably anxious and worried.

“How is she? Is she still in pain?”

“No, mostly uncomfortable.”, as much as he didn’t like the guy, Alex was glad the trauma surgeon seemed to be worried about Amelia, and not only for the baby.

Owen moved forward, ready to enter the room, but Alex blocked his path. “Give her 10 minutes. Let figure herself out, alright?”

The trauma surgeon nodded, grateful for Karev for being there and supporting Amelia, even if it made him feel jealous, obviously wanting to be the one Amelia trusted herself with the most.

Eventually Karev left with Jo, when the resident showed up asking how Amelia was feeling. Bad news always travel fast, and an ambulance exploding was no exception. Owen anxiously waited the 10 minutes Amelia had asked for. Never had 10 minutes felt more like torture.

---“---

Once Alex left the trauma room, Amelia lost herself in her thoughts.

She had found out about the baby not even an hour ago, but, weirdly enough, she already felt a connection to it. But was she ready for a baby? A tiny human being, completely dependent on her. As much as she tried to go about her days as if everything was completely fine, her life was a mess right now. She was recently divorced, something she never thought she’d be, and to try to cope with it, Amelia immediately threw herself into a big surgical project.

Starting a no-feelings-friends-with-benefits relationship with Owen had been a mistake. A very pleasurable mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. The issue was, she really, really missed sex and the man was so damn good at it. But then they had ironically started talking about feelings and she ended up sending him off to Teddy.

Another mistake. She felt like crap once she realized he had actually gotten on a plane and fled to Germany. But she did want him to be happy. And if it meant without her, she’d have to learn how to deal with it. 

This new part of the equation, this unexpected miracle baby, definitively complicated things. For everyone.

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. A second latter a head of red hair could be seen, his blue eyes silently asking if he could come in. She silently nodded.

Funny how silent communication was never their problem. If only they were able to use their words and communicate like the two adults they were...

They stared at each other for a few seconds, blue on blue, until Amelia broke the silence.

“So, um,- I’m pregnant. But you know that already.” Straight to the point, there was no use in dancing around the elephant in the room. Amelia tried her hardest to keep the attitude she had going for the past few weeks, but her voice was quivering due to the crippling anxiety she had been feeling ever since she heard her baby’s heartbeat.

“It’s mine, right?”

“Of course it’s yours! What, you think I’ve just been sleeping around?”

“No, no, not at all.”, he quickly tried to fix it, knowing he was close to offending her, “I just- God, Amelia, we’re having a baby!” he smiled big, the kind of smile that form wrinkles near the eyes, probably the biggest smile Amelia had ever seen on him.

“Yep. We are…” she tried her hardest to control the tears that were threatening to fall. But she failed miserably.

As soon as Owen saw her eyes watering, he quickly made his way to her, wrapping her in his arms.

“It’s okay, it’s alright.”, he placed a gently kiss on her hair. “Shh, it’s okay.”

“This is a mess, Owen. What are we gonna do?”

“That doesn’t matter right now.”, he said, running his fingers through her brown locks, “You’re okay.”

Physically yes, but her mind was usually her biggest enemy, and that was way more dangerous.

“You’re safe, Amelia.”  

She wanted so hard to believe his words.

But she didn’t feel safe at all.

[leowenila]

Going for The Goal

Hello! The other day while listening to one of my favorite playlists for writing and appreciating the beautiful weather outside; this spontaneous idea at complete random appeared in my mind and I knew that I needed to expand on it, instantly. Highly unlikely that this will have a second part primarily because I almost never finish second parts, which causes me to have several already started multi-fics in the making; but I would definitely be willing to write another part if it is requested. Here is “Going for The Goal,” please enjoy!

Long vibrant strands of fresh grass waved in a repetitive motion as a calming wind passed through the suburban area of lower Seattle, on the perfect and early spring day. Homes across the picturesque neighborhood remained quiet as various residents continued to sleep including the larger home hidden beneath a cluster of trees. Inside the man-made home was Owen and Amelia as they peacefully laid in one another’s arms while their three young children slept in different rooms opposite the master, towards the back of the home. The male trauma surgeon’s rounded muscular hand naturally rested on Amelia’s growing stomach causing him to feel every rise and fall of her chest through her abdomen along with small but noticeable movements from their already active baby girl.

Slowly the bright sun welcomed its presence throughout the shaded home into the windows indicating the dreadful morning hours. With her beautiful eyes remained shut, the pregnant neurosurgeon grasped onto Owen’s hand making her tired muscles relax. Amelia groaned after noticing the brightness.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Owen lethargically inquired of Amelia once he had noticed her carefully shift in his arms seconds before she exhaustively yawned.

“Besides growing another small human inside of me and vomiting all my guts out last night, which caused me to almost faint? Better. I think my stomach muscles are still aching from it and the baby growing doesn’t help.” Amelia confessed honestly to her husband who seemed worried but instead he nodded in agreement.

“Leo has his first soccer game today; are you sure that you will feel up to it. I’m sure Maggie will film the entire thing.” The male trauma surgeon observed from the situation of his wife rubbing her swollen abdomen wearily, he patiently awaited her response in attempts to make sure she was okay.

Finally Amelia opened her tired eyes and matched her bright blue irises with his darker blues before adjusting her delicate hands from her stomach to the middle of Owen’s broad chest muscles then smiled at him, seconds before offering her statement.

“I love you; Owen.” The brunette reassured her husband which allowed him to acknowledge and understand how she was feeling. Being her soulmate; Owen knew exactly what she was feeling; although she was in a state of discomfort, her motherly instinct would sacrifice any amount of pain to witness and experience the joy of her children. Once hearing what she had to say and silently taking a note of how he can make her day brighter; Owen kissed Amelia with passion before he turned his head after hearing three small children at the tall door.

“Hi Daddy! Hi Mama!” Their youngest son, Cortland announced as his two older brothers stood on either side of him. Once more the male trauma surgeon kissed the brunette before removing himself from the thick comforter and bent his knees to the children’s eye-level.

“Alright soldiers. One of you decided that it was a good idea to get the others up after he decided to wake up himself. Who that is; is a mystery but don’t think that for a second that will trick, Major. Hunt.” The father teased with each son as the brunette continued peacefully resting in the bed, to watch her boys joke with one another. The man scanned into each pair of bright blue eyes carefully while they attempted to maintain straight faces that their father taught them at an early age.

“Mr. Leo is a soccer star as of today, so it could be him. Or maybe it’s Mr. Thomas who has his mama’s eyes but yet it could be Mr. Cortland but he’s my favorite. So it can’t be him? Mama? Who do you think our contestant is?” Owen proposed to Amelia who couldn’t contain her smile or laughter at the antics or each boy with their arms crossed over their small chests.

“My bets are totally on my little man.”

“Leo; it is!” Owen proclaimed aloud seconds before he lifted his six year old into his arms followed by lifting the two others above him until he landed them safely on the giant bed out of his muscular arms, where Amelia sat with her soft hands onto her stomach to feel the early morning kicks herself.

Once all the family was relaxing on the bed; the male trauma surgeon held Cortland in his arms and covered everyone with the thick blanket. Unprepared for what her oldest son was about to do Amelia flitched slightly once seeing his small arm come towards her stomach but was surprised the moment Leo rested his small hands in the middle of his mother’s growing and sore pregnant belly.

“Is my baby sister okay, mama? Does she not feel good when you don’t feel good?” Hearing Leo’s question; Amelia’s eyes immediately filled with small tears along with curiosity how he knew that she was not feeling well but knew already that someday he will care as much as his father does for the women he loves.

“Baby sister is wonderful, my little lion.” The neurosurgeon tearfully vocalized to her adopted son and the first one who made her become a mother for more than forty three minutes, while she played with his naturally curled hair he inherited from Betty. Owen and Amelia shared glances with one another ahead of mouthing their three favorite words.

Hours had come and gone, and the morning became an even more perfect afternoon when there was only an hour until Leo’s soccer game. In the rather large kitchen was the brunette as she placed healthy and organic snacks until plastic containers for the game while Owen remained occupied in his oldest son’s room to help him get in his uniform.

“Let’s go show mama!” Owen cheerfully directed to Leo who he walked behind as they made their way out of his bedroom, towards the kitchen. From afar the male trauma surgeon coughed to signal the neurosurgeon, she glanced up and saw the bright blue jersey along with shorts.

“Leo! You look amazing, what do you think?!” Amelia declared to Leo as he began to cheer for himself and the reaction he had been wanting of his mother’s approval.

Once they had arrived at the giant sports field; the male trauma surgeon parked in the parking space and shut off the minivan’s engine, Leo impatiently unbuckled his seatbelt before either one of his parents could exit the vehicle but remained sitting until his brothers were unlatched. Owen lifted Cortland into his arms before retrieving the lunch bag filled with several snacks beside him while Amelia helped Thomas step down off of the van’s platform then clasped onto his small hand and Leo followed.

“Drake!” Leo shouted to his teammate and cousin upon seeing him from afar sitting with his parents who patiently waited for the game to begin, in their lounge chairs and sunglasses covering their eyes to block out the bright sunlight.

“Leo!” Drake exclaimed back to his cousin before asking his mother for permission to run in the other boy’s direction. His mother approved and returned to reading her thick book. Both five year olds grew close over their years because their mothers shared a never ending bond as sisters as well as being two of the most successful surgeons at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.

“I’m so happy to see you; sister. I didn’t think you were coming!” Maggie cheerfully told her sister as she hugged her tightly mere moments before adjusting her hands down to Amelia’s growing abdomen.

“Hello baby girl; this is your Auntie Maggie. Don’t ever forget that.” The female cardiothoracic surgeon directed to her niece still inside the uterus while Andrew DeLuca greeted his brother in law and colleague once he removed himself from the lounge chair. Both men set up the extra lawn chairs for the rest of the family beside Andrew and Maggie’s other kids.

Twenty five minutes into the game as the third quarter was just seconds away, one of Leo’s teammates dribbled the ball towards him and passed it to him from being instructed by their coach; adrenaline was high and cheers soared for the home team although it wasn’t labeled as a competition all the parents made sure to cheer for their child. Getting ready to kick the ball towards the net, a slightly taller boy from the away team pushed Leo onto the ground with force. Before the small boy hit the ground the brunette ran as fast as her six month pregnant body could allow followed by the male trauma surgeon to reach their son. Favoring his mother’s tough will; Leo refused to cry despite the tears that were in his eyes, Amelia started to tear up at the site of seeing her son injured and felt paralyzed at what to do until Owen’s steady and calming nature took over, and reassured the both of them before he lifted Leo into his arms to walk back to the minivan. As they walked back Maggie nodded her head in Amelia’s direction, signaling that her and Andrew were able to take care of their nephews.

Once arriving at the hospital; Owen put the vehicle in park and turned off the engine to have it rest in one of the employee parking spots, he retrieved his son from the back seat in which his wrist hung down. The male trauma surgeon walked in the emergency department with Amelia behind him and was greeted with Meredith following.

“Hey; how was the game?” The older general surgeon asked her sister who was visually distraught and in pain, the brunette did not say a word but just stood in the doorway of the trauma room where she watched her husband and son who started sobbing in pain just minutes before, while a wave of pain shot through his arm. Although Amelia knew it was only an arm injury, the sympathy pain she felt was unimaginable. Meredith glanced back and forth between Owen and Amelia.

“Leo got pushed to the ground and his arm is broken. Either get an orthopedic surgeon down here or allow me to fix this.” Owen requested of Meredith who snapped on her gloves to take a glance at the laceration on her nephew’s head.

The general surgeon informed her intern to page an available orthopedic surgeon before the male trauma surgeon got angry, once the brunette heard Meredith’s request of the intern, she finally sat on the other side of Leo and took his hand.

“Ah, okay. Hey little guy!” The familiar voice boasted as he walked into the local trauma room causing both Owen and Amelia to glance up from where their eyes rested on each other.

“You paged Dr. Lincoln out of all the surgeons in this hospital?” Owen stressed to the clueless intern who looked helpless but sprinted out of the trauma room. Before Link started to snap the surgical gloves onto his hand, Leo stopped him.

“You got in Daddy’s way when I was a baby, don’t even dare touching my arm. Mommy don't even liked you!” Leo’s small but powerful voice ordered the blonde orthopedic surgeon before the man backed up in his standing position. Amelia and Owen attempted to remain a similar straight face to the ones that mirrored their sons’ earlier that day.

Once Link left the room the brunette bursted into laughter causing Owen to join in, causing the little boy to accompany his parents laughter knowing that he said something funny. The male trauma surgeon held out his hand for Leo to slap it with his non-injured hand.

“I think Leo just shot his first goal.” Owen proudly told Amelia who nodded her head in agreement after appreciating what type of life she happily had after deciding to shoot her own goal four years prior and returning back to her soulmate’s arms. 

Thank you so much for reading!

[omeliaendgame]

Superhero Amelia

Hey Omelia-Fans :-)  I´m back with a new story (Who would´ve guessed?!)!!! I know it´s short but I hope you´ll like it! 

„Good morning“, Owen greeted Amelia when she showed up in their kitchen. „Good morning“, she yawned and he gave her a cup of coffee. „You are my hero, today!“, she said gratefully. „Only today?“, Owen grinned and raised an eyebrow. „Yep. Just today. The other days I´m the hero“, she joked. „Right. Superhero Amelia, flies around the hospital and saves brains from dying“, he said and they both laughed. „When does your next mission start?“, Owen asked still with an amused tone. „Oh, I´m helping a brain not to be defeated by a cruel medulloblastoma at 9am“, she answered. „Sounds very exciting. And does superhero Amelia need a ride to the hospital from her amazing husband?“ Owen waved the car key and tossed Amelia her jacket. „Superhero Amelia would be very delighted about that“, Amelia stated and started to put on her jacket and shoes. „Come on.“, Owen, who was ready to go, pushed Amelia while he opened the door. „Why the hurry?“, Amelia answered and looked at him irritated. „Why so grumpy? Didn´t the coffee work?“, Owen teased her. Amelia grimaced. „No, apparently not.“ She took a deep breath and moaned. „I´m gonna need another one.“ That made Owen laugh. „Well you can get another one at the hospital, let´s go“, he said then.

5 hours later, Owen was working at the emergency department, when he saw Amelia rushing to the nurse´s station. She at down and typed some lines in the computer. „Hey.“, Owen said. „Owen!“, Amelia exclaimed, „You can´t scare me like that.“ „Sorry.“, he said briefly and placed his hand on the backrest of her chair. „What do you want?“, Amelia asked annoyed. “Still grumpy, huh?”, he chuckled. “Okay, if you have nothing useful to say, leave me alone!”, Amelia snapped at him without turning around. „Okay what´s wrong?“, he asked. „What do you mean?!“, Amelia said and began to type faster on the keyboard, „Just let me do my work!“ Owen kept silent and tried to figure out what she was working on. He saw a patient file. „Toby Phillips… did you operate on him?“, he asked. „Can you stop asking me that questions? Go away, Owen...“, Amelia said. Owen rolled his eyes and then he turned her chair, so that he could see her face. „Talk to me, Amelia! Are you mad at me?“ Amelia stared at him for a while and lowered her head then. „No...no, I´m not mad at you.“, she said quietly, „I´m mad at myself...“ Owen exhaled and sat down next to her. „I couldn´t remove that tumor… And this 6-year old boy will not survive for long.“, she told him. “I´m sorry.”, Owen said. „And chemo or radiotherapy won´t help?“, Owen asked carefully. „The tumor is too big and agressive. I failed. Toby will die because of me.“, Amelia said. „Amelia, it´s not your fault! Come on, Toby´s chance to survive this was already low.“, Owen tried to comfort her after she showed him the scans. He knew, she was a perfectionist, and that she always wanted to save everyone. But that was just not realistic. „I could have saved him.“, she said discouraged. Owen touched her arm. He had been at this point. Every doctor had been at this point. „He will have pain for the rest of his short life… He´s only six! Why, why is the universe so cruel?! Toby is the sweetest, joyous and kindest little boy.“, Amelia said close to tears. Owen looked at her compassionately. He knew exactly how she was feeling. „That´s not fair, I know...“, he said. Then he took her hand and smiled slightly. „I love you. I love that you want to help everyone, that you would never stop fighting for someone. But you can´t save everyone! It´s not possible. You need to stop to blame yourself.“  „And look who´s talking“, she said, but smiled too. „Yeah, we all have to learn a lot.“, Owen said. He stood up and took her hand. „Come with me.“ „Why?“, Amelia asked confused. „Superhero Amelia needs to replenish her powers.“, he answered and winked at her. She raised her eyebrows. „She does?“ „Yes, absolutely. A pizza will make all her troubles vanish.“, Owen stated. „Oh, really? But first Superhero Amelia needs to take a shower.“, Amelia said and stopped. She looked at Owen´s blue eyes. How did she deserve this man?! „I love you too.“, she said and kissed him.

[omeliastoriesbyari]

Our happy ending

This prompt takes place a couple months after the s15 finale. Amelia has just got back from a trip she took to LA in search for herself and she has figured out who she truly is with and without Owen. Today she is meeting with Owen to pick up Leo because Owen and her both decided that it is best that she stays a constant person in Leo’s life and the bond her and Leo share is unbreakable.

7:00 am

Amelia is just getting off her flight from LA and heading to grab her bags from baggage claim.When she got her luggage she went outside where Mer and Maggie were waiting for her to come out.

“Look who’s back? How was your trip?” Maggie asked grabbing Amelia into a hug.

“It was great now I’m just ready to change and see my little bunny boy,” Amelia said hugging Maggie back then releasing her.

Amelia looked at Mer and smiled and grabbed her into a tight hug cause she knew mer wasn’t so lovey dovey.....

Once Mer and Maggie dropped Amelia off to her house she had bought a couple of months of ago. Which was the first thing to help her find herself her own space to grow. Amelia walked into her room and sighed in relief her room was perfect to her it was cozy and brought her some much peace. She sat her bags at the end of her bed and walked in to her closet and grabbed herself a blue floral shirt and some black leggings. Amelia then walked into her bathroom and took a hot, steamy shower to fresh up from being on the plane. When she came out she sat on her bed and looked at the nightstand seeing the picture of her and Leo. The picture was her giving Leo a big kiss on his cheek while he smiled showing his two teeth at the bottom of his mouth. Amelia smiled and checked her phone she had 1 message from Link and 3 from Owen Amelia opened Link’s message first.

Link: I hope you had an great trip. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow around 3ish? 

Amelia replied with an okay but I have Leo this week so how about we meet at the park. She then opened her messages from Owen. The message were pictures of Leo playing with Allison and Leo with Ice cream all over his face. And the other was a message that read.

Owen: What time you come back Leo misses you so much.

Amelia smiled and replied I just got back and I’m on my way because I miss him so much. Amelia grabbed a ponytail holder off her night stand and threw her recently new grown hair into a messy bun and grabbed her key.

30 minutes later she was pulling up to her former home she shared Owen. She smiled remembering the good time she once shared with Owen then took a deep breathe and got out of her car. She slowly walked up to the door and softly knocked waiting for Owen to open the door. 

Owen opened the door with Allison in his arms he smiled when he saw the petite brunette at his door. Owen looked her up and down taking in all her beauty Amelia looked at him confused as of why he was staring at her. 

“Um Owen?” Amelia asked looking up at him.

“My bad I’m sorry,” Owen said looking around rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s fine,” Amelia said biting her bottom lip.

They both looked Allison as she cooing looking at Amelia. Amelia smiled Allison was so beautiful she looked just like teddy. That made Amelia wonder where Teddy was since she ain’t see her car when she was pulling up.

“Owen where’s Teddy,” Amelia asked.

“We broke up she’s with Tom now,” Owen said looking down.

“What happened I thought y’all were in love,” Amelia said feeling sad for Owen because she really wanted them to workout for each other.

“She said it seems liked I had my heart sat for someone else and only chose to be with her because we’re best friends and have a baby together. She told she was going to be with someone who wants her and gives her their whole heart and love and not half,” Owen looking at Amelia staring into his sky blue eyes.

Owen moved out the way to let Amelia in the house. Amelia slowly walked in the house and took a seat on the couch waiting for Owen to get Leo for her. After a little while Owen came to the living with both Leo and Allison in his arms. Amelia giggled when she seen what Leo had on. He was wearing pajama pants, a white button up shirt, and some red sneakers.

“Owen why is he dressed like that?” Amelia chuckled out.

“Because I couldn’t find anything to put him on quickly without Allison crying,” Owen shook his head 

Amelia picked up the toddler and walked back to his room in Owen’s and went in his dresser. She grabbed a gray star wars shirt, black jogger, and his baby converse. After she got him dressed she walked into the living where Owen was. She noticed how exhausted Owen looked as he tried to rock Allison to sleep but Allison wasn’t going. Amelia took a sit next to Owen and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Can I try?” Amelia asked very softly.

Owen handed her the baby Amelia cradled Allison in her arms gently. Amelia rocks back and forth very calmly and sings you are my sunshine my only sunshine. After about 5 mins of Amelia rocking the baby Allison was peacefully asleep in Amelia’s arms. Owen sighed in relief that Allison had fell asleep because she won’t fall asleep all day.

“Where’s her room?” Amelia asked standing up slowly.

“It where the office used to be,” Owen said sitting Leo in his lap.

Amelia walks to where her old office used to be and opened the door and saw a beautiful white and pink nursery. She smiled and laid Allison in her crib. As she walking in the hall she notices a picture on the wall the used to be there when she lived there. She looks at the picture closely not noticing that Owen had walked up to her with Leo in his arms.

“Oh yea I could never bring myself to take at down,” Owen said looking down at Amelia.

“I’m surprised you kept this,” Amelia smiled shyly.

“It was one of the best nights of my life,” Owen let out a deep chuckle.

“I was a reck that night I got cold feet almost left you at the alter but then reminded myself how much I love you and how bad I wanted to start a life with you,” Amelia said looking down remembering that night like it was yesterday.

“That night was magical I remembered how gorgeous you looked when I seen you coming down the aisle. I remember thinking to myself I would do anything to make you happy and to have a great life with you by my side. But I let you down I was a horrible husband, and boyfriend and I’m sorry.” Owen said.

“Owen it’s fine I guess we weren’t meant to be,” Amelia shrugged.

“I believe we were and I just messed it up because either when I’m with somebody else or I’m single I never find myself as happy as I was when I was with you.” Owen said. 

Amelia smiled and nodded her head

“Teddy was right I wasn’t giving her my all because my heart was craving for someone else,” Owen smiled a little.

“Owen that’s not a good idea we don’t work together and we know that so let’s not put us back in a bad situation.” Amelia said.

“Well i’m just going to say this and tell me how you feel about this. Amelia Francis Shepard I love you and I want to turn a new life with you just us and the kids,” Owen said looking at Amelia.

“Owen I love you and I went on a self journey to find who I was without you. I know who I am without and I like who I am without you but I love who I am with you. Owen I know we can be toxic together but I choose to forget those moments and remember every good moment we had,” Amelia says looking into the man she knew she loved most.

“Amelia I want you to be my wife and I wouldn’t want any other woman but you cause you make me the happiest I ever been in my life,” Owen leans down to kiss her.

“Owen I wanna be your wife and I do want that family you always dreamed about with our own craziness. But I wanna do it quietly,” Amelia says taking his hand in her’s.

“What do you mean quietly?” Owen looked confuse as of what she was taking about.

“I wanna get eloped and move to start over,” Amelia looked at Owen.

“Ok but why move I thought you loved Seattle,” Owen said.

“I don’t wanna move out Seattle I want use to move from this house because it has too many memories if we’re going to start over,” Amelia said calmly.

A couple months......

“Amelia I can’t find Allison’s bunny,” Owen yells from the living room of their new home in the suburbs of Seattle.

“I think it’s a Teddy’s I’ll call her and see,” Amelia said as she walked into the living room where Owen.

Amelia picks up her phone to call Teddy but before she could press the call a text come through from Teddy.

Teddy: Alli left her bunny I’ll drop it off after my surgery.

“Teddy said she’ll drop it off after her surgery,” Amelia said.

Amelia pick Leo pick off the floor and sits on the couch with him next to Owen and Allison. Amelia smiles because she love her little family and she grabs the remote and turns on Hercules. After 30 minutes of them watching the movies she notices the kids had fallen asleep she leans over and give Owen a gently sweet kiss. 

Sorry for any mistakes I haven’t looked it over I just posted it 

[toevenexist]

Are you still writing Omelia, too? Because there are people who love them more than anything. :(

Yes I’m continuing my ‘darkening’ series xxx

[trashforgubler]

The Soliloquy

Word Count: 1463

Summary: Amelia goes in for a post-op MRI and has a panic attack

Extra Info: This has been sitting in my word docs for so long oh my god I cant believe I finally finished it. Also plsplsplspls listen to “The Soliloquy” by Noah Mac because it is literally the GOAT

Warnings: Panic attack, vomiting, swearing

Requests: Open pls send (even if its just a song you like that you want me to do something with)

Feedback pls and thank

masterpost 

Amelia had been dreading this day for far too long. Today was the day she had to get an MRI. Today was the day her worst fear may come true, that her tumor could be back. There weren’t any signs of relapse, but that didn’t mean that fear didn’t creep its way back in every time she thought of getting a scan done. The fear would never be gone, it started suffocating her the moment she stepped into the room, even with Owen right beside her.

“You good?” he asked her, already noticing that she looked off. Her skin was paler than usual, and she wasn’t talking. She hadn’t said anything in the car ride here, and barely anything at the house that morning. The normally chatty Amelia was nowhere to be seen, instead, a shadow of her stood next to him.

Amelia couldn’t do anything to respond to his question, not even conjure up and unconvincing smile. She simply continued walking towards the machine, each step becoming harder than the last. Her heartbeat echoed in her chest, and it was so loud she could almost hear it in her ears. She wiped her sweating hands on her thin hospital gown as she sat down on the table and laid back. Owen took the silence from her as a little case of nervousness. Of course, she was nervous, she had every right to be. Hell, he was nervous.

“Okay well I’m going to be right in that little room the whole time, so if you need anything just ask.” Owen waited a moment for a response but got none. Refusing to make eye contact, Amelia stared blankly at the ceiling, praying to a God to let her be okay. Please, let her be okay.

“You’re going to do great, and after this is over we can go home and watch Game of Thrones, how does that sound?” Owen asked with a smile. Nodding emotionlessly, her eyes darted around the tile above her, unable to focus them on a specific spot. Owen gave her one last small smile before he put the plastic headpiece over her head. Amelia flinched as it locked in, and immediately her chest began heaving. She was trapped under a metal cage she was unable to get out of, left alone in a giant tunnel that made the loudest noises known to man. The door closed behind Owen as he walked out of the room, and she could feel his eyes watching her, only making her panic more.

I am going to die in here. She thought. I am going to stroke out and die because I can’t fucking breathe.

Of course, the fear of death only scared her more, and her heavy breathing quickly escalated to short, strangled grasps for air.

As Owen stood in the room, he could hear her struggling for air through the microphone. His heart ached at the sound of it.  

“Amelia, you’re going to be fine, okay? I’m right here.”

His words did nothing to help her, she was only getting worse, and quickly.

“Wha- what if I can’t be a surgeon anymore?” she said breathlessly.

“Amelia-“ Owen said, tilting his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Don’t Amelia me Owen.” She was angry now, her once soft voice becoming sharp. Owen felt a stab of pain in his chest as she said it. He knew she had a point. There was a possibility that she may not fully recover, that she wouldn’t be the same surgeon she was before any of this happened. Even from behind the glass, Owen could see her scratching at her balled up fist, something she always did when she was nervous. Amelia’s brain was a wildfire. A small spark had lit an entire forest of fear ablaze and now she was suffocating. She couldn’t see anything but the cage holding her down.

“Owen- Owen I need out.” She choked a word out between each gasp for air. The technician gave Owen a look and a slight shake of his head, telling him to leave her.

“She’ll be fine just give her a minute.” He stated emotionlessly.

“She’s hyperventilating!” Owen yelled, gesturing roughly at her as he did.

He had always been one to be protective of his loved ones, especially when they were in pain. Especially when it was Amelia. The tech remained motionless not really acknowledging or caring about his sudden outburst.

“Owen I said get me out now!” Amelia screamed wildly. Tears began streaming down her face as her voice cracked with fear. Owen gave the techintinon the death glare as he left the room and ran to Amelia.

“You’re okay, I’m here,” Owen whispered, trying to remain as calm as possible as he lifted the headpiece off of her. In reality, he was scared. He had never seen Amelia like this before. She was always one to put on a brave face for anything and everything she stumbled upon. This time something was different.

“I can’t breathe.” Amelia gasped as she scratched at her chest, pulling at the hospital gown she was wearing. “Owen I can’t breathe.” Her blue eyes were wide with panic and glistening with tears as she looked up at him. Owen wrapped his arms around her back to help her sit up.

“Yes, you can, just slow down.” He rubbed her back gently as she struggled for air. “Slow down.” Amelia looked down at the ground as her hands gripped the sides of the table so hard her knuckles turned white.

“They’re never gonna let me do surgery again.” She stammered

”Yes they will, you’re gonna be fine, okay? Just breathe.” Sweat began collecting on her forehead as she became paler and paler. Kneeling down in front of her Owen took her raw hands in his. “Mia, look at me.” Amelia shook her head as more tears rolled down her red face, too ashamed of herself to make eye contact. “Mia,” he repeated softer. Reluctantly she looked up at him, her once vibrant blue eyes had turned dull from the pain. “You are a surgeon. You’re going to be a surgeon again, but right now you need to focus on healing yourself before you think about healing others. You are the strongest, most resilient person I know, but that doesn’t mean that this won’t be hard. It will be, but you're going to be just fine.” He gave her a small smile as he wiped away a falling tear with the edge of his thumb.

As sweet as he was, Amelia could barely listen to the words coming out of Owen’s mouth, she was too focused on the growing sensation of nausea in her stomach. She wasn’t sure whether she was actually sick, or she was just so freaked out she had made herself sick. Either way, it didn’t seem to matter, the feeling was starting to creep its way into her throat. She broke out into an ice cold sweat as she struggled to keep what was left of her composure, but it was too late. She threw her hand over her mouth to keep from losing it all over Owen. Owen stood up and scooted to the side on instinct, immediately recognizing what was about to happen. He returned his hand to the center of her back and began rubbing gentle circles on it.

“Breathe Amelia. Deep breaths.” he coached.

Amelia gagged and purged a small amount of bile that tasted so sour it made her eyes water. She gagged again before vomiting on the floor. Owen ran his fingers gently through her hair, making sure not to touch the sore spot from her surgery, and gathered it into a loose ponytail right before she heaved and vomited again, coughing as a new flood of hot tears streamed down her face.

“Done?” Owen asked.

Amelia nodded slightly. Owen went to the corner of the room to get a washcloth and wiped the saliva from Amelia’s mouth.

“Can you walk?”

Amelia nodded again as she got up from the table. Owen put his arm around her back, holding her up. He could feel the heat radiating off of her as he held her, and felt her body tremble against his.

They walked slowly down the hall and into the on-call room. Owen sat Amelia down on the bottom bunk and untied the now dirty hospital gown. He removed his own shirt and gave it to her even though it was far too big for her small body. He then helped her lay down, and she curled up into his side, feeling the warmth of his bare skin. Owen wrapped his arms protectively around her and watched her fall promptly asleep, lulled by the sound of his heart beating.

[greysfanpage388]

I’m A Fighter- chapter 2 ( repost)

Hey guys- here is chapter 2 of ‘I’m A Fighter’, reposted per request of Grey’s Biggest Fan on Twitter.

Chapter 1 can be found here:

http://greysfanpage388.tumblr.com/post/176007460451/im-a-fighter

 I hope you guys enjoy!!

 The same night

 There was a tense silence in the kitchen as both Owen and Amelia tucked into their Chinese takeaway food. There were so many words unspoken and issues unresolved between them.

Owen cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

‘ So Webber and I have tried to contact several neurosurgeons today.’ he said.  ‘ We think that Dr. Patterson is the best and most qualified to operate on you.’

‘ It’s ok, Owen. I’ve found someone who can operate on me.’ said Amelia as Owen looked at her questioningly.

‘ He is Dr. Tom Koracick, head of Neuro at John Hopkins Hospital and also my professor during medical school, residency and fellowship.' she added.

‘ Ok, that’s good.’ Owen said approvingly. ‘Yes, I’ve heard of him before. I heard he’s really good at what he does and I’m really impressed with his research on the latest neurosurgical techniques. I haven’t managed to contact him yet, but it’s good that you had. If you trust him enough and think that he’s the best to operate on you, then I’m not gonna argue with that.’

‘ He’s by far the best .’ Amelia confirmed.  'He was the one who taught me all those fine neurosurgical techniques during my residency and fellowship. He can be quite arrogant though because he knows that he’s the best. I WhatsApped him the image of my scans, and he claimed that he could operate on it with an eye closed. I trust him.’

Owen chuckled despite himself. Now he knew where Amelia got her arrogance from.

‘ Alright then.’ he agreed. ‘ If you trust him, so do I.’

‘ Look Amelia- I just want the best for you.’ he said earnestly as they held hands across the table. ‘ I don’t care who operates on you, as long as they are the best. I just want you to beat this.’ he said as he squeezed her hand.

Amelia smiled, glad that she had Owen’s support.

‘ I know.’ she said. ‘ I want to beat this beast too.’

Their eyes met as they looked at each other.

‘ We’re gonna beat this beast together.’ Owen said with conviction. ‘ You cannot do this alone.’

‘ I'm so glad that I have you by my side.’ Amelia said, as she smiled at Owen, showing her dimples, which melted his heart. He wished he could see those dimples forever.

‘ Yes, you do.’ he said earnestly.

‘ Owen, I FaceTimed my L.A. friends just now, and Addison is coming over tomorrow.’ Amelia informed. ‘ She wants to be here to support me.’

‘ Ok, that’s good.’ Owen said earnestly. ‘ I know how much your L.A. friends mean to you and you need their support too. I’m glad that you have them by your side.’

They exchanged a smile as they continued chatting and making plans for her surgery.

___________________________________________________________

A few hours later, they were both lying on their bed together for the first time in months. Owen had his arm wrapped tight around Amelia's shoulder, feeling like if he loosened his hold on her, she would leave him again. He couldn’t afford to lose her

‘ How long have you known about this tumor?’ Owen asked, a downcast expression on his face.

‘ Only yesterday.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ I don’t know how long it had been growing in my brain though- probably for years since my days in L.A.’

‘ But you never experienced any symptoms all this while?’ Owen asked, puzzled.

‘ Symptoms of increased intracranial pressure? Nope. No headache, dizziness, vomiting, no loss or blurring of vision, nothing. Which is why I never suspected anything growing in my brain and never had an MRI done- I didn’t have any symptoms.’ Amelia answered. ‘ It was only when I voluntarily participated in Carina DeLuca’s research on the female orgasm that they coincidentally found the tumor in my brain.’

Owen would have chuckled at Amelia taking part in the study, had he been in a better mood. But at that moment- he was in a somber mood.

‘ Well, it’s lucky that you took part in the study then.’ he said.

‘ It has been growing for years. The frontal lobe is in charge of impulse control and actions. What if every single action of mine since my time in L.A. was a result of the tumor?’ Amelia wondered out loud. ‘ How about the impulsive and reckless behavior, running away from James, running away from you that day- all that was due to the tumor?’

She immediately regretted her words when Owen’s facial expression changed.

‘ Does that include you proposing to me and deciding to marry me?’ Owen asked in a hurt voice.

Amelia’s heart sank at his unexpected question.

‘ No, Owen, No.’ she cried. ‘ A tumor in the frontal lobe would only affect my actions and impulse control surrounding emotions, but will not affect my underlying emotions. My decision to run away when we have disagreements maybe, but my underlying feelings for you, those are real.’

‘ Ok'.Owen nodded slowly, as he tried to digest what Amelia was saying. He understood what she meant and he hoped that was the case too.

‘ So you’re saying that your decision to run away during our wedding and a few months ago was caused by your tumor?’ Owen asked, afraid of hearing the reply.

‘ Maybe.' Amelia replied. ' But I have to take responsibility for my actions too. I know it was an impulsive decision on my part, and I'm so sorry. '

Owen nodded silently at Amelia's reply, glad that she was now taking responsibility.

‘ But what about after your surgery? Would you still be the same person as you were before?’ he wondered out loud.

Amelia cupped his face in her hands as their eyes met.

‘ Owen.’ she said earnestly. ‘ I will still be the same person as before, and I will always love you.’

‘ I will always love you too.’ Owen whispered as he pulled her in for a tight hug. They held onto each other tight, not wanting to let go. This latest discovery made them realize that life was very short indeed and they should cherish all the time they had with each other.

___________________________________________________________

 The next day

Addison Montgomery had many things going through her mind as she looked out of the window of her cab heading to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. She had checked into her hotel and now she just couldn’t wait to meet her old friend Amelia Shepherd face to face.

Amelia had texted her earlier on in the morning, informing her that she had been admitted to a room on the neurosurgical floor and that an old professor of hers was performing surgery on her.

Learning that Amelia had a brain tumor was a shock to her indeed. She knew from medical school and surgical residency that the frontal lobe was in charge of emotions and impulse control, and wondered whether all of Amelia’s impulsive decisions that she made in L.A. including operating while high and running away from James were caused by her tumor.

She blamed herself for not noticing that Amelia was behaving differently while in L.A.  She knew Amelia from her pre-teen years. As a teenager, Amelia had always been impulsive and doing reckless things such as crashing her brother’s car and getting high on drugs. That was the main reason why Addison never noticed any change in Amelia’s behavior in L.A., especially after she relapsed. She had assumed that Amelia’s erratic behavior was due to her relapse and reckless ways. Never had it crossed her mind that it could be due to a tumor growing in her frontal lobe.

She felt sorry for Amelia. Poor girl could never catch a break. When she was 5, her father was shot dead in front of her. During her teenage years, she fell into addiction. In L.A., she lost her best friend Michelle, her fiance Ryan and her unicorn baby. When she went to Seattle, she lost Derek. Now, she has a damn tumor growing in her brain.

As the cab pulled up to the hospital, Addison was overcome by a feeling of nostalgia. The last time she stepped foot into this hospital was 7 years ago when Callie had an accident and Sofia was born prematurely.

She took a look at the building as she stepped out of the cab. Part of the building was under renovation, she heard that a fire had occurred in the hospital not too long ago. But the remaining parts of the building still looked the same.

She took a deep breath before she stepped foot into the building. The lobby had also been partially destroyed and was under renovation. Otherwise, everything else seemed the same to her as they were 7 years ago.

After asking a young receptionist at the counter where Amelia’s room was, she found herself walking towards the room, her heart pounding. She just didn’t know what to say to her old friend.  ‘ I’m sorry that you have a tumor growing in your brain.’ sounded inappropriate. She just wanted to hug her tight and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

‘ Come in.’ a male voice answered as she knocked on Amelia’s door.

She slowly opened the door and entered the room to see Amelia on the patient bed in a patient gown with Owen beside her. Standing in front of them was a man dressed smartly in a suit.

‘ Addie!’ Amelia called out excitedly as she spotted her old friend. ‘ You’re here!’

Addison rushed over to her side and both women embraced in a warm hug.

‘ Of course, I am. I'll always be by your side and will never let you go through this alone.’ Addison said as she held Amelia tight.

‘ Thank you for coming here.’ Amelia whispered as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

‘ It’s my pleasure, I really miss seeing you in person.' said Addison.

‘ Addie- this is the person who will be performing surgery on me, my professor Dr. Koracick. He’s the head of Neurosurgery in John Hopkins and he taught me all the surgical skills during my residency and fellowship.’ Amelia introduced.

‘ And one of the best Neurosurgeons in the country.’ Dr. Koracick added as he extended his hand for Addison to shake.

‘ Dr. Koracick, this is my good friend, Addison Montgomery, one of the best Ob/Gyns we have in the country.’ said Amelia as Addison blushed.

‘ Hello Dr. Koracick, I’ve heard a lot about you.’ Addison admitted, feeling starstruck as she shook his hand politely. ‘ It’s nice to meet you in person.’

‘ Everyone knows about me.’ Koracick smirked. ‘ Alright, I’ll leave you three alone as I review Amelia’s blood results and repeat scans for tomorrow’s surgery.

As he left, a tense silence filled the room as Addison and Owen looked at each other.

‘Thank you for coming, Addison.’ Owen said as he nodded politely at Addison. ‘ Amelia always told me about you and how you are always there to support her.’

‘ It’s my pleasure. She’s my good friend, I need to be here for her.’ Addison said as she took a seat on the other side of Amelia’s bed. ‘ Right Amelia?’

‘ I need both of you by my side.’ Amelia admitted as she looked at her husband and her good friend.

' Well, you have us both.' Owen said as Addison nodded in agreement.

‘ I’ve got to go check on Megan now, I’ll catch up with you later.’ Owen informed Amelia as he gave her a quick affectionate kiss on the lips.

‘ How are you feeling?’ Addison asked Amelia with concern as soon as Owen walked out of the room. ‘ I mean, I know that finding out about this isn’t exactly a great feeling, but how are you handling everything?’

‘ I will be fine.’ Amelia answered confidently. ‘ It’s an easily operable benign tumor, and I have one of the best neurosurgeons in the country operating on me. I have Owen and you by my side. I’ll be fine, Addison.’

Addison smiled as she climbed on the bed beside Amelia and held her tight. Relishing in her friend’s embrace, Amelia leaned onto her, and they sat in silence in that posture for several long moments.

‘ You said you possibly had it for a long time?’ Addison asked.

‘ Yes. Dr. Koracick said it has been growing for about 10 years, which is since my time in L.A.’ Amelia answered. ‘ He said that I have not been a sound mind since then. I’m thinking that it might have affected my impulse and decisions. He did hint to me that it might have affected by surgical skills and judgment.’

‘ Oh Amelia.’ Addison whispered, at loss of words to say to her friend.

‘ I am now wondering whether it might have affected my surgical performance in L.A.’ Amelia admitted.

‘ You had lost only one patient in L.A., which is Dell. And there was the veteran woman whose eyesight you couldn't save. Other than that, all your other patients survived without complications.’ Addison assured.

‘ Do you think that I could have saved Dell had I not had a tumor growing in my brain?’ Amelia wondered out loud. ‘ Do you think that my tumor could have caused me to make a fatal mistake which caused him his life and Betsy her father?’

There was a brief moment of silence as Amelia’s question shocked Addison. She knew that Amelia was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country with excellent surgical skills. Surely Amelia herself would know that Dell’s death wasn’t her fault and that she had fought tooth and nail to save him?

‘ Amelia- you know yourself that you did everything you could to save Dell. It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t save him, he just collapsed so suddenly without warning after everyone thought that he was fine.’ Addison said comfortingly as she put an arm around her friend's shoulder.

‘I don’t know- maybe all my actions have been controlled by my tumor. I can’t stop recalling now all the patients I've operated on so far and whether I could have saved more patients had my tumor been detected earlier. I also can’t help but wonder whether all the stupid decisions I’ve made so far are due to the tumor. Maybe they are, maybe they’re not. But I cannot blame my poor judgment skills solely on the tumor. I have to take responsibility for my actions too.’ Amelia admitted.

‘ Amelia- stop blaming yourself, and concentrate on having the surgery now ok? You’re gonna have this darn tumor removed and you’re gonna recover and then take it from there. Right now, just focus your mind on the surgery.’ said Addison as she squeezed Amelia’s hand in support.

' I’m just wondering about what happens after the surgery. Will I be the same person as before? I know that the frontal lobe only controls decisions and actions and not underlying emotions. But I can’t help but wonder whether I would be a different person. Will I still feel the same towards Owen? How would this impact my relationship with him? I’m scared, Addison.’ she said as her face scrunched.

‘ I know you’re scared.’ Addison said. ‘ But I also know you, Amelia. You’re a fighter. You have gone through so much in your life and yet you’re still standing strong. You’ll get through this.

‘ Addie, you’re such a good friend.’ Amelia said earnestly as tears started rolling down her face.

‘ That’s what friends are for.’ Addison said as she pulled Amelia in for a tight hug.

In the comfort of her friend’s embrace, Amelia broke down, releasing all her fear, confusion, anger and guilt. She never realized how much she missed Addison until Addison was there in person by her side.

Addison continued holding Amelia tight, feeling sorry for her friend. She knew that Amelia had been through so much in her life, and she wished she could do more for her. But right now, Amelia needed her support more than anything, and she was going to give Amelia her full support.

They lied down on Amelia’s bed in silence, both engrossed in their own thoughts, with Addison still holding Amelia’s hand. Amelia had to admit, having Addison by her side was so comforting indeed, it gave her the strength and courage she needed to face the surgery.

___________________________________________________________

An hour later, Addison was still lying on the bed with Amelia. They were both chatting animatedly, catching up with all that was going on in their lives for the past few weeks.

Amelia was confiding in Addison about her rocky relationship with Owen, with her running away from Owen due to her fear of having another anencephalic baby, leading to them drifting apart, but Owen stepping up to support her when he found out about the tumor.

Addison updated Amelia on the latest news in Oceanside Wellness, about what their friends were up to, and the latest interesting cases.

 Amelia smiled as Addison swiped through her phone, showing her the latest photos of Henry.

‘ He’s so adorable.’ Amelia said in awe.

‘ He’s best friends with Lucas. Those two are inseparable, I tell you.’ Addison laughed. ‘ Violet and I always arrange for them to have playdates together.’

‘ It's so cool that they’re friends with each other.’ Amelia said earnestly. ‘ How are Mason and the triplets?’

‘ Mason is fine- he scored straight As for all his subjects this semester, and is the top of his class. The triplets are getting more and more adorable each day. I swear I can never tell them apart.’ Addison chuckled.

Just then, the room door opened.

Amelia gasped in surprise as she saw Maggie, Meredith, Alex, April, Bailey, Nathan, Webber and Andrew enter her room.

She had told Maggie about her brain tumor earlier on that morning before Dr. Koracick arrived to assess her. As expected, Maggie burst into tears and hugged her tight, saying that she was allowed to cry because she had lost her mom and didn’t want to lose her too.

She asked Maggie to help her tell Meredith about the news. What she didn’t expect was for Maggie to tell their other colleagues about it as well. She knew that Bailey, Webber and Andrew had known about her tumor earlier on, but she didn’t expect to see Alex, April and Nathan there too.

‘ Oh hello, Montgomery. It’s nice to see you here. You still look the same.’ Bailey greeted as Addison got up from the bed and gave her a hug which she reciprocated awkwardly.

‘ It’s nice to see you all here.’ Addison replied as she shook hands with them.

‘ We’re all here to see Amelia.’ Webber admitted. ‘ We heard that she is undergoing surgery tomorrow, so we want to wish her good luck and send good vibes.’ he added.

‘ Thank you all so much for coming to support me.’ Amelia said earnestly, pleasantly surprised by all the visitors. All this while, other than Owen, Meredith and Maggie, she seldom interacted with the other attendings and residents, always preferring to be alone instead of hanging out with them outside of work. That was why she didn’t expect so many people to be there to support her. It made her heart swell and tears pool in her eyes.

‘Amelia, I just heard.’ Meredith said as she made her way to Amelia’s bedside.  ‘ I’m so sorry.’

' Sorry for what?' Amelia muttered although she knew the answer.

‘ I’m sorry for the times I’ve been so harsh towards you.’ Meredith admitted. ‘ I guess you remind me too much of Derek. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to lose you.’ she said as she squeezed Amelia’s hand.

Amelia shrugged and gave Meredith a teary smile, debating on whether to say out loud that it took a tumor for Meredith to apologize to her for the way she had been treating her. She decided that it was not worth it and to brush it off instead.

‘ It’s ok Meredith.’ said Amelia earnestly. ‘ I forgive you. Life is too short to hold grudges. You're my sister after all.’

The two sisters exchanged a smile, glad that any previous misunderstandings between them had been forgiven.

‘ I’m sorry, but April, Alex and Nathan overheard.’ Maggie admitted as she walked over to the other side of Amelia’s bed. ‘ They wanted to come up to see you too.’

‘ Yes, I’m so sorry Amelia.’ April said as she sat on the foot of Amelia’s bed. ‘ I’m praying for you to pull through. I’m going to the hospital chapel after this to pray for you if you don’t mind.’

‘ Thanks, April.’ Amelia answered gratefully. ‘ I’m not the religious type, but I do appreciate prayers.

‘ I’m wishing you all the best, Shepherd.’ Alex said as he smirked at Amelia. ‘ You’re going to get through this, I know. You’re a fighter.’

 Amelia smiled, remembering how she had confided in him about her unicorn baby once in the attending lounge.

 ‘ I’m just so glad to see you all here.’ she said earnestly to them.

‘ Really. Thank you all so much for being here for me and supporting me. I really appreciate it.’

‘ We're family. We're all here for you.’ said Maggie, as she hugged Amelia.

Amelia exchanged a quick glance with Addison who was smiling too, glad to see her friend having the support of so many people.

Just then, Dr. Koracick entered the room holding Amelia’s repeat brain MRI and blood results.

‘ Alright, Shepherd, I have all your pre-operative investigations ready. You’re fit to go. Are you prepared? Your surgery would be scheduled for 8 am tomorrow, you’ll be fasted from 8 pm tonight.’

‘ Right I am.’ Amelia said confidently, even though her heart was pounding inside. She trusted her professor and knew that she was in the best hands. However, she couldn’t help but feel anxious. As a surgeon, she knew that even the most routine of surgeries would have risks of complications and even death. What if she became paralyzed, blind or lost her speech?

Taking a deep breath and shaking all the negative thoughts out of her mind, she added. ‘ Let’s get this show on the road.’

‘ That's the spirit! I always make sure to impart to my students this fighting spirit.’ Dr. Koracick exclaimed as he gave Amelia a high five.

‘ I’ll go book the OR for tomorrow.' Bailey announced.

‘ I’ll inform scrub nurse Bohkee to prepare the OR.’  said Webber. He knew that Bohkee was Amelia’s favorite scrub nurse and Amelia would love to have her assisting in her surgery.

‘ Thank you, Webber. I do want her scrubbing in on my surgery. I also want DeLuca to be the resident scrubbing in.’ Amelia informed as she looked at Andrew and winked at him.

‘ Thank you so much, Dr. Shepherd.’ Andrew said gratefully, his heart leaping for joy at the opportunity of scrubbing in for such a major surgery. At the same time, he was hoping that Amelia would pull through the surgery. The neurosurgeon was now fast becoming his favorite attending.

As Bailey, Webber and Andrew left to prepare for Amelia’s surgery, the rest of the people in the room stayed back to have a light-hearted chat with Amelia, which eased her anxiety.

___________________________________________________________

That night, Owen and Amelia were both left alone in the room. Their colleagues had either gone back home or were on call, and Addison had gone back to her hotel room.

Owen was sitting beside Amelia on the hospital bed. There was a comfortable silence between them as they both stared at the  TV, not really paying attention to what was playing on the screen.

Amelia cuddled closer to Owen as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned forward to his chest, feeling the comfort of listening to his heartbeat.

She had already started fasting, and an IV drip was being inserted into her. The moment the nurse inserted the IV drip into her, the reality of the situation hit her hard. She was the patient now, she was going into surgery to have a huge tumor removed from her brain. Now she understood the anxiety that patients faced before going to surgery. No matter how she tried to convince them that it was just a routine surgery which had been done so many times before, she still couldn’t relieve their anxiety totally. She couldn’t guarantee them that the surgery would go on smoothly. There was always the risk of complications. There was never a guaranteed outcome in surgery. Knowing all this as a surgeon made her anxious. She knew exactly what Dr. Koracick would be doing the next day, which part of her brain he would drill into, and the nerves and blood vessels which would be in the way. That made her even more anxious, knowing which nerves and blood vessels of hers might be affected.

Sensing Amelia tense up in his arms, Owen released his hold on her and cupped her face in his hands.

‘ I know you’re anxious. I can sense your anxiety.’ he said. ‘ It’s going to be fine, Amelia. You’re going to pull through this, ok? You said that Dr. Koracick is the best neurosurgeon in the country and I trust your judgment.’

‘ I know he’s the best. I was fine until the blood investigation results, pre-operative scans and IV drip make it all real. What if I get permanently paralyzed or blind, or worse still never wake up?’ Amelia asked as she looked at Owen, fear showing in her eyes. She had put on a brave front for others, but with Owen, she could feel her defenses crumbling and her insecurities surfacing. She felt comfortable exposing her innermost fears to him.

‘ Amelia, don’t say that.’ Owen whispered, feeling his heart sink at her words. A stray tear rolled down his cheek as he looked at her with pleading eyes. He could never bring himself to imagine life without Amelia. No, he could not afford to lose her. ‘ You’re not going to die or go blind or paralyzed. You’re going to pull through this like you pull through everything else. Fight for me, ok?’ he added with conviction as he pulled her in for a tight hug.

‘ Ok.’ Amelia nodded as she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

‘ I’ll fight for you. I’ll fight for us. We’re going to be ok, right?’ she asked, looking up at him with teary eyes.

‘ Yes, we’re going to be ok. We’re going to pull through this together.’ Owen said confidently. ‘ I’ll be up there in the gallery watching.'

Amelia gave him a teary smile, showing her dimples.

They held hands as they looked at each other in the eye, full of love.

‘ I love you so much Amelia, and never want to let you go.’ Owen said earnestly as he used his thumb to rub a stray tear from her cheek.

‘ I love you too and I don’t want to leave you.’ Amelia sniffled as she looked up at him with a sad expression.

Still cupping Amelia’s face, Owen bent down to kiss her gently but passionately on the lips.

She reciprocated the kiss, which became heated fast as his hands cupped the outline of her breasts and hers traced the outline of his broad chest.

Owen pulled away before they could take their kiss to the next level, which made Amelia groan in disappointment.

‘ You have an IV drip connected to you, and you're having surgery tomorrow.’ he pointed out. ‘It’s just not right.’

‘ Well, in case I never wake up from the surgery, I would want my last night on earth to be filled with orgasm.’ Amelia half-joked.

‘ Sorry, no filter.’ she muttered when she saw Owen's terrified look upon hearing her words. ‘ Maybe when I have this thing removed from my head, I will develop a filter.’

Owen shook his head as he pulled her close to him for a cuddle. They remained in that position, cuddling close to each other for the entire night.

 ______________________________________________________

 The next morning

When Amelia’s personal nurse Emily entered the room, the couple was still lying on the bed, cuddled close to each other.

‘Good morning, Dr. Shepherd.’ she greeted cheerfully. ‘ It’s surgery day. Rise and shine.’

Amelia groaned and rubbed her eyes. As she saw the IV line attached to her, she instantly remembered that she was the patient, and not the surgeon performing the surgery.

‘ As you would know, you need to shave your head.’ Emily ordered gently as she passed her a pair of scissors.

Amelia stared at the scissors for a long time. She loved her hair and to have even a part of it cut off made her sad.

‘ I can help her do it.’ Addison offered as she entered the room and walked over briskly to Amelia, enveloping her in a hug.

‘ Addie.’ Amelia whispered, looking at Addison with teary eyes.

‘ It’s ok, Amelia, it’s gonna grow back.’ Addison said softly as she smoothed her friend’s hair.

A few minutes later, they were in the bathroom, as Addison gently shaved the hair off the part of Amelia’s head which was to be operated on.

Amelia’s face scrunched as she watched strands of her beautiful hair fall onto the floor. She stared at the mirror and saw a bald patch left on that portion of her head.

‘It’s ok, I know it hurts.’ said Addison soothingly as she straightened the remaining of Amelia’s hair to let it cover the bald area as much as possible. ‘ You can cry as much as you want, Amelia. Let it all out. It’s ok.’

At Addison’s words, Amelia allowed the floodgate of tears to open.  Addison hugged her tight as she sobbed and sobbed, releasing all her anxiety regarding the surgery

___________________________________________________________

An hour later, Amelia was lying on the patient trolley as she was being wheeled to OR3. Several nurses were pushing her trolley, and Owen was walking on one side of the trolley with Addison walking on the other side.

Amelia’s heart was pounding rapidly. Now she knew how her patients felt the moment they were being wheeled into surgery.

Everything was a blur to her that morning. Dr. Koracick had entered her room again to explain the procedure and the risks of the surgery to her as a formality even though they both knew that she was very familiar with the surgery. Her mind was blank and her heart numb as she signed the consent form for the surgery.

Before she knew it, it was time for her surgery.

As her trolley stopped outside the closed OR door, Amelia turned to look at Owen and Addison, the two most important people in her life at the moment.

‘ Addie.’ she whispered, grabbing hold of her friend’s hand. ‘ If I don’t wake up….please tell the rest of our friends in LA that I love them so much and am so grateful for their friendship and support all this while. And send my kisses and hugs to Henry. Tell everyone there not to miss me too much…. and think of it as a reunion with my dad, my baby, Ryan and Derek.'

‘ No, Amelia.’ Addison said, shaking her head. ‘ You’re going to have to tell them yourself when you wake up.’

Amelia smiled in reply as she turned to the right to look at Owen and grab hold of his hand.

‘ Owen. I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done, for running away from you like that. You deserve better. Just know that I love you so much. If I don’t wake up, please promise me you’ll go on with life and find someone who would give you all the love and the family you’ve always wanted. And please tell Maggie, Meredith and the rest that I love them too.’ she said as a stray tear rolled down her cheek.

Owen shook his head sadly as a stray tear rolled down his cheek too.

‘ You’re going to have to tell them yourself.’ he said. ‘ And yes, I’m going to have the family I’ve always wanted, with you.’

He bent down to cup her face in his hands, as their eyes met and they stared at each other, full of love.

They shared a passionate kiss for a long moment before the OR doors opened and Amelia had to be wheeled into the OR.

‘ I love you both so much.’ Amelia said as she bid them a wave goodbye and the OR doors closed behind her.

In the OR, Amelia was pleased to see Bohkee already scrubbed in and preparing the surgical instruments. Bohkee was the scrub nurse she trusted the most.

As she looked into the scrub room, she could see Dr. Koracick and Andrew scrubbing in for the surgery.

When she stared up at the OR, a smile formed on her face as she saw all her colleagues at the gallery staring down at her, there to cheer her on. Maggie, Meredith, Nathan, Bailey, Webber, Alex, April, Arizona were all there, smiling at her. She waved at them, feeling grateful for their support.

' I love you guys tremendously.' she said.

They waved back at her as Maggie gave her a french kiss. She saw Addison and Owen joining them in the viewing gallery, which was full. She exchanged a smile with both of them, as Addison gave her a thumbs up sign.

Feeling energized by all the support she was getting, Amelia took a deep breath in and stood in her superhero pose, the pose she had always used before scrubbing into surgery. Just standing in that pose gave her hope and confidence that she was going to pull through.

To her pleasant surprise, everyone else in the OR and viewing gallery followed her pose. It made her feel so grateful to see all these people supporting her. Realizing that she wasn’t alone and had so many people by her side, she climbed onto the operating table and lied down with a smile on her face.

‘ Alright, it’s a beautiful day to save lives.’ she announced, using her brother’s famous quote which he mentioned each time before a surgery.

‘ It’s a beautiful day to save lives indeed.’ she heard Bohkee, who had scrubbed in with Derek for numerous surgeries, repeat.

Not long after, darkness engulfed her.

  Here it is- Chapter 2 of ‘I’m A Fighter.’ I really hope you liked it, please do let me know what you think guys! Comments, reviews, messages and reblogs are very much appreciated, I would love to know what you think! <3